Who Says Our Tickets Aren't Genuine!
by YuNique337
Summary: The Yu-gi-oh gang are on their way to Hawaii to save the world when they arrive at the airport and are forced to stay overnight due to ticket problems! CHAPTER 10- The Yamis learn to swim! Tea turns into a player! -R&R pleez!
1. Default Chapter

Ok this is my first shot at a fanfic! R&R but please no flames!  
Disclaimer- I don't own anything! I swear! *smuggles Yami out back*  
Hehe on with the story  
******  
  
Departing to Domino Airport  
  
*in car driving w/out license*  
Joey- Don't you think I should drive? You can't even reach the pedals!  
  
Yugi-ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY SKILLS AS A PROFESSIONAL DRIVER LIKE THE ONES ON THE HONDA COMMERCIALS WITH THE FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND THAT MY 80 YEAR OLD NEIGHBOR TRIES TO BREAKDANCE TO?!  
  
Joey-uhhhhh.*sweat drop* no?  
  
Yugi-*uses his secret weapon- a huge smile that takes up all of his face* good! So we're settled.  
  
Tristan+Tea+Bakura all trapped in the backseat smushed among many bags- Do we have everything?  
  
Joey-Check.  
  
Yugi-Sun tan lotion?  
  
Joey-Check.  
  
Yugi-Photon torpedoes for saving the world?  
  
Joey-Check.  
  
Yugi-Passports?  
  
Joey-Check.  
  
Yugi-Airplane tickets?  
  
Joey-I knew I forgot something.   
  
**2 hours later**  
  
Yugi-Ok! Lets get this show on the road!!!!! *Jumps in car and starts it barely seeing over the rim of the steering wheel*  
  
Joey-Are you sure-  
  
Yugi-*blasts radio* DIRTY POP!!! HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!  
  
Tristan-*screams a very girly scream* O GOD, WHERE!?!!?!   
  
Tea-*sighs* He has a fear of small rodents.  
*Tristan squishes himself onto the seat staring around with huge anime eyes*  
  
Joey-Right there! Look!!!!   
  
Bakura-Awww it's so cute.  
*a little squirrel runs across the road and Yugi screeches the car right over it barely missing*  
  
Yugi-MUHAHAHAHAH!!! LOOK! LOOK ANOTHER ONE!  
  
Tea-Uh...Yugi?  
  
Yugi-Yes?  
  
Tea-Are you alright?  
  
Yugi-Of course why do you ask?   
  
Joey-*whispers in a voice high enough to hear audibly all the way in the U.S.* I think he's had caffeine...  
  
Tea-I think so... -_-''  
  
Yugi-Hey Tristan are you ok?   
  
Tristan-Of course! As long as there are no more squirrels.  
  
Tea-EXCUSE ME I BELIEVE I WAS TALKING! \_/  
  
Yugi-WHEEE!!! *nearly hits car in front of them*  
  
Joey-Yugi! Theres the airport!!! *points to a Burger King*  
  
Tea-Uh...Joey....  
  
Joey-Yeah?  
  
Yugi-WHEEE!!! *slams into drive-thru window*   
*no one seems to notice*  
  
Tea- That's not an aiport. That's a Burger King.  
  
Joey-*looks confused* Eh? Tea why did you tell Yugi this was an airport?  
  
Tristan-Should I kill him or will you do the honors?   
*Tea looks at Joey and is about to ring his neck when a bright light fills the car*  
  
Yugi-Beam me up scotty!!!  
  
Tea- Yugi, your Millenium Puzzle!  
*everyone looks at Yugi's bag, it's glowing brightly, Yami Yugi emerges and instantly switches places with Yugi, he is now in the front and Yugi is in the back*  
  
Yugi-Whoah...LETS DO IT AGAIN!!!!  
  
Tea-Yami?  
  
Joey-*leaning out car talking into speaker* I'll sue you!! What are you saying that you don't serve frog legs?!  
  
Tea-JOEY! STOP HARRASING THE DRIVE-THRU MEN!  
*clears throat*   
*turns back to Yami*  
  
Tea-Like I was saying...Yami?  
  
Yami Yugi-*in deep vampire voice* Yessss?  
  
Tristan-Ok, that's just freaky. O_o  
  
Bakura-That's not so bad. When my Yami goes on a sugar high he runs through the neighborhood naked, singing "YMCA" and barking.  
  
Everyone- O_o;;  
  
Yugi -*is bouncing up and down on seat* WHEEE!!!!  
  
Joey-*bends down and puts a hand on Yugi's head to make him stop bouncing* Ummm...shouldn't this chapter be over yet?  
*everyone looks at him weird and ignores him*  
  
Tea-Okay Yami, since you came out...I guess you can drive us to the airport.  
  
Yami-Yesssss.  
  
Tristan-Ummm, what's wrong with your voice?  
  
Yami-Yessss.  
  
Tea-Who cares. Drive!!  
  
*5 minutes later the group is stopped at a red light*  
  
Yugi-WHEE!!  
  
Joey-I think maybe something is wrong with him...*still has hand on head trying to stop a completely random bouncing spasm*  
  
Tea-Here, just give him these. He's been taking them to help with his constipation. *Looks around awkwardly. Everyone has a sweat drop* What?  
  
Joey-It's just wrong that you know that.  
  
Tea-Oh. *hands bottle to Joey*  
  
Joey- *looks at label* Sugar-o-matic? Tea, these are sugarpills!!!  
  
Tristan-*Yugi bounces and hits him in the face w/ his hair* Well, that explains alot.  
  
Tea- Oops.  
*A car drives up on the side and a few girls look in, twirling their hair at Yami*  
  
Yami-Yesssssssssssss. ^___~  
*The girls blow him kisses and he guns the engine*  
  
Tea-How come no one ever guns there engine for me?  
  
Tristan-Maybe because you're a *mumbles un-audibly*  
  
Tea-WHAT?!? TAKE IT OUTSIDE! *strikes a ninja pose*  
  
Tristan-I meant to say it was because you are a wonderful, respectable lady with a heart of gold worthy of being aired on a quality t.v. show such as "Son of the Beach."  
  
Bakura- Or maybe "Passions." Timmy is just my favorite.  
  
Yami- *looks over at him strangely* Yessss....  
  
Tristan & Bakura-What?  
  
Joey-You guys! We're here!  
*points to airport*   
  
Yugi-WHEE!!!  
  
Tea- When do those pills wear off?  
  
  
***  
Well there ya go!  
Yugi- Why'd you have to make ME hyper?  
  
Me-Hyper is good. You should be proud.   
  
Yugi-*grumbles*  
  
Yami-I shoulda' been the hyper one. My hair would have done more damage. It's spikier.  
  
Yugi-That's cuz you use so much gel.  
  
Yami-Look who's talkin! I don't think it's healthy for a kid as short as you to have hair the same size.   
  
Yugi- *grumbles* 


	2. Fake Tickets

Chapter 2! I don't know if I have to put a disclaimer on every chapter so I'll just put one on this one and chapter one.   
Disclaimer- I still don't own anything!  
  
*they all walk in, carrying bags*  
Yugi-WHEE!!   
  
Joey-5..4..3..2..1......  
  
Yugi-WHE-what the!?!  
  
Joey-They're all gone now. No more sugar for you, you little bastard.  
  
Yugi-Huh?  
  
Joey-Nevermind.  
  
Yugi-Okay! Yami, why are you out?  
*Yami looks over, watches a group of girls, walks over, starts flirting, gets slapped, comes back*  
  
Yami-Yesss. =(  
  
Yugi-Yami? Your voice is just freaky.  
  
Tristan-What have I been sayin' all along!?!  
  
Tea-No one listens to you. You're not even a major character. *ducks down incase there are any fangirls out there who might throw something, then* Who gets 6 digits on their paycheck? WHO? NOT YOU!!! Not me either, but at least I get five.  
*Tristan skowls*  
  
Yugi-I get eight.  
*Everyone else falls anime style, then walk over to the counter*  
  
Tea-Hi, we are here for the 3:00 P.M. flight to Hawaii?  
  
Person-Where?  
  
Tea-Hawaii.  
  
Person-Kawaii?  
  
Tea-HAWAII!! \_/  
  
Person-No Kawaii. Just Hawaii.  
  
Tea-*falls over*  
  
Tristan-Speaking of Kawaii...are you busy friday night? ^____~  
  
Person-Hawaii it is.  
  
Yugi-Joey, where are the tickets?  
  
Joey-Here!!! *holds up tickets, passes them over counter*  
  
Person-These aren't real.  
  
All-WHAT!?!  
  
Person-They are made of a strange, recyclable substance. I don't know what it is but I'm going to have to be the one to tell you that you can't fly to Hawaii. But thankyou for flying with us.  
  
Joey-Uh....We didn't fly with you.  
  
Person-I see. Umm, is he with you?  
*points over to Ben and Jerry's stand where Yugi is having the Triple Delux Brownie Castle Sundae Swirl*  
  
Joey- OH GOD.  
  
Yugi-WHEE!!!!  
  
Joey-*runs over and hold him down to keep him from hitting an old couple with his hair*  
  
Tea-THIS IS GREAT. JUST GREAT. WE HAVE FAKE TICKETS. WHO BOUGHT THESE??  
  
Tristan*points at Joey*  
  
Joey-Ummm........................................OKAY OKAY. I SPENT ALL THE REST OF MY MONEY ON OREOS. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MY LIFE!?!  
Tea- *runs over and starts beating him with those really fuzzy rope things that make the lines in the airports that you have to wait behind* DIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Joey-AHHH!!!! *runs around in circles letting Yugi free*   
  
Yugi-WHEE!!! *goes bouncing down the hall*  
  
Tristan-HE'S HEADING FOR THE DISPLAY OF THE WORLD'S FINEST CHINA!!!!!  
CRASH.  
*Everyone looks around whistling innocently*  
  
Yugi-WHEE!!!  
  
Joey- Guys, where did Yami go?  
*All look around*  
*All hear a smack*  
*Yami comes back over with a red mark on his face*  
  
Yami-STOP LOOKING AT ME! =(  
  
Tea- You spoke!  
  
Yami-Wow, thankyou captain obvious. -__-  
  
Tea-Hey! Before, all you were doing was sounding like Dracula.   
  
Yami-Oh, really? Well...I was...um...*whispers* taking some of your sugar pills.  
  
Tea-I see...  
  
Joey-Guys...Yugi is bouncing towards the McDonalds.  
*everyone hears more crashing*  
*more yelling*  
Yugi-WHEE!!!  
  
*2 hours later*  
  
Joey-I'm hunnngrrryyyy.  
  
Tea-Quit your whining Joey, you know that we aren't allowed in the airport McDonalds anymore. Not since Yugi bounced into the deepfrier.  
  
Yugi-It's not my fault.   
  
Tea- Yes it is.  
*Yugi frowns*  
  
Tristan-Hey, has anyone noticed that Bakura hasn't said anything in the last few hours?  
*all look around*  
  
Yugi-Umm....that could be a problem.  
*points out huge window, the plane that they were SUPPOSED to be on is taking off, and Bakura is waving at them through the window, smiling and laughing evilly, holding a real ticket up*  
  
Joey-ERRRR that little...how come HE gets to go on the plane?  
  
Tea- Because he bought his ticket ahead of time and bought a REAL ticket and didnt spend all of his money on OREOS.  
  
Joey-I knew that.  
*Yami comes back from across the hall*  
  
Yami-We leave tomorrow at 7:30 AM...I bought us some REAL tickets with all of the money that I was going to use for myself to buy a limited edition hula girl from Hawaii. I hope you are happy. She was one of those ones that sways back and forth. BACK AND FORTH!  
  
Tea- Thanks yami! *smiles and takes tickets*   
  
Yugi-*mocking Tea's voice and expression* Thanks Yami, I love you Yami, SEX ME UP, YAMI! \_/  
  
Tea-WHAT WAS THAT?  
  
Yugi-Nothing...  
  
Tea- Good.  
  
Tristan-Oh...my...God. O_o  
  
All-WHAT!?  
  
Tristan-Look.  
*points over to someone coming across the floor wheeling a tiny little suitcase, wearing a bright red, green and yellow Hawaiian flower shirt and really small yellow shorts*  
  
All-MALIK!?!?!?!?!?!  
********  
That's all for chapter 2----  
  
Yugi-I'm sure his fan girls love this.  
  
Yami-If I was a fangirl and I saw him in tight shorts I'd STILL be scared.  
  
Me-That's why you're not a fangirl. They have to love their characters no matter what. You might be short but I still love you!!*glomps Yami*  
  
Yami- Help me. 


	3. Extra Cheese

Hours to Go-#3  
Malik-What are you looking at?  
*all of the gang are staring straight ahead and blinking. Tea has dropped the tickets and   
Yugi is on the verge of tears*  
  
Yugi-PLEASE GOD, TAKE IT AWAY! I CANT BEAR TO SEE HIM ANY MORE! THE SHORTS....THE SHORTS!!!! O__O  
  
Joey-*shields eyes* IT BURNS!!!! X_X  
  
Yami-This is worse than 5000 years inside a puzzle with no air, light, companionship or beer.  
*all look at him*  
  
Tea-Wow, I never knew you suffered so much.  
  
Yami-Yup.  
*They all turn back to Malik*  
  
Joey-What are YOU doing here!!?!  
  
Malik- I'm going to Hawaii.   
  
All -WHAT!?  
  
Malik-Why are YOU guys here? *shoots angry glance at Yami Yugi and narrows eyes* And HIM?  
  
Yami-HE is here to go to Hawaii too. We all are. What are YOU doing here?  
  
Malik-I just told you.  
  
Yami-Right. *backs up and stares at floor*  
  
Yugi-*sings* WHO LIKES SHORT SHORTS!!? ^o^  
  
Malik- *takes out rod and starts bashing Yugi over the head with it* They aren't my shorts! They're Bakura's! I had to borrow them cuz I had no other pairs and....  
  
All-Bakura wore THOSE!?  
  
Malik-Only when I'm with hi- Nevermind. Erase that.   
  
Everyone- O_O;;;;;  
Malik-SO ANYWAY. Why aren't you on the plane? *lets Yugi get up...he's sitting on the ground and brushes himself off*  
Joey-I bought fake tickets. Yugi, why aren't you dead? He hit you like 1,000 times with a metal pole thing!  
  
Yugi-*pokes hair* It's the gel. It cushions.  
  
Joey-Oh.  
  
Tristan- *jumps up and down* I'm still here!!!  
  
Malik- Yes, I see you.   
  
Tristan- Good. Now my mission is done for the day. So, whose up for lunch?  
  
All- Me!  
*the group, including Malik, walk up to the airport pizza hut*  
  
Tea- We will have the biggest pizza you got with extra cheese.  
  
Squeaky voiced Teenager-We dont have extra cheese. *his voice breaks and Joey turns around to stifle laughter*  
  
Tea- You can't just take some cheese and put it on the pizza?  
  
Squeaky voiced Teenager-It'll cost ya 6000 yen a slice.  
  
All-WHAT!?!  
  
Yami- *steps up* Do you like games, little man?   
Squeaky voiced Teenager-Umm..eh...umm...  
*the rest of the gang get sweatdrops and sit down to wait*  
  
Yugi-Here he goes again. We just have to wait until he opens up the can of whoop @$$ on this guy and gets the extra cheese by means of the shadow realm. -___-  
  
Joey-*nods* Is he obscessive compulsive?  
  
Yami-*shouts* DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE CHEF IS COOKIN?! That's pizza back there!! And Tea wants extra cheese. So we are gonna play a little game.  
  
Squeaky voiced Teenager-Umm..ok...  
  
Yami-*picks up a handfull of napkins* Whoever can guess the number closest to the number of napkins in my hand wins. If you win, I get your soul and you give us the extra cheese. If I loose, then I get your soul and you give us the extra cheese. Got it?   
Squeaky voiced Teenager-Ummm...I think...  
  
Yami-Pick your number!  
  
Squeaky voiced Teenager-Umm, 23?  
  
Yami- I choose 34.  
*starts counting napkins one by one as the gang falls anime style*  
  
Yugi-Um, Yami, I don't think you should threaten peoples' souls in an airport.  
  
Yami-Stay out of this, shortstuff!  
  
Yugi-HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME NOT INSULT ME!  
  
Yami- You made me loose my count! Why you little...*starts gagging Yugi...Simpsons style*  
  
Tea-Break it up! Yami, go back to counting your napkins. Yugi, sit down and behave.  
  
Yugi & Yami-YES MOTHER.  
*Tea glares at them and sits down*  
  
Yami-5, 6, 7, 8, 9...  
  
*20 minutes later after Yami has lost count 507 times and a large, angry mob has formed a line behind the group*  
  
Yami-21, 22, 23! Hm, that's not right. I was supposed to win. o_o?  
  
Squeaky voiced Teenager-So I won?   
  
Yami-No. NO ONE DEFEATS ME! *takes cheese grater and grates the cheese onto a pizza* MUHAHAH! *wacks kid off head with cheese grater and runs off with the whole pizza*  
*Tea pays and they all move over to the seats to eat*  
  
Yugi-Yami, the next time you do that I'm duct taping you to the inside of the Millenium   
Puzzle and I'm not afraid to use force.  
  
Yami-What are you gonna do? Reach up and punch me in the knee?  
*Yugi growls and lunges at Yami Yugi, biting him in the arm*  
  
Yami-OW! That's it! *disappears inside the Millenium Puzzle*--*from inside* I can tell when I'm not wanted. =(  
  
Yugi-*dusts himself off* That's better. *runs over to the airport souvenier shop and buys duct tape. He starts taping up the Millenium Puzzle until it is black and unrecognizable*  
  
Malik-Hey, while you're at it, maybe we should tape up my rod. My Yami is a little bit suicidal lately. Ever since he lost his favorite teddy bear from his soul room.   
*Yugi walks over to Malik with the duct tape and starts to tape the rod* *Yami Malik emerges*  
  
Yami Malik- Paper or plastic? I mean-DIE! DIE! YOU ALL SHALL DIE A PAINFUL DEATH!  
  
Malik-Shut up you insane person, you. -___-x  
  
Yami Malik- I WILL IMPALE YOU ON A STAKE AND THEN BURN YOU TO ASHES AND THEN BURN YOUR ASHES'S ASHES AND THEN THROW THOSE ASHES INTO THE CORE OF THE EARTH! AND I WILL ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THIS BEFORE MY SOAP OPERA COMES ON! MUHAHAAHA!!  
  
Tea-If you want to talk about something evil, soap operas are where to start.  
*suddenly, Yugi's Millenium Puzzle makes a loud popping noise and Yami Yugi is standing next to them*  
  
Yugi-WHAT? I duct-taped you!   
  
Yami-Oh please. That's not brand name. ~_~  
  
Yugi-I never knew name-brand made a difference!  
  
Yami-You are so naive. Even me, a 5000 year old pharaoh, knows that that's a lie that all parents tell their kids so that they can pay less on shampoos and cereal and have more than enough money to use when they retire. They're all laughin' it up right now in an awesome nursing home in the Bahamas, all because you bought Crunchy-O's instead of Fruit Loops!  
  
Yugi-Wow. That's pretty scandelous of them. O_O  
  
Yami-I should know. I've played that trick before.   
  
Tristan-You had kids?  
  
Yami-Nope. Just 6000 slaves who all wanted better quality grain. I don't know what happened. A weak after I told them that it wouldn't matter what kind of grain they ate, they all died.  
  
All-Ohhhh *sweat drop*  
  
Yami Malik-BACK TO MEEEEEE!!! YOU ALL SHALL DIE, AND I WILL FEED YOUR BONES TO MY DRAGON-RA! AND THEN I WILL EAT HIM! AND I WILL THEN HAVE EATEN ALL OF YOU! *stops, looks down at pizza*   
OOOOooohh pizza! *starts eating pizza slice after slice...after he is done, he turns to Yami Yugi*  
  
Yami Malik-Hey homie, lets bust this joint. These peeps are too whack for me. They don't know how to chill like mofos. Let's blow this icecream parlor.  
  
Yami-Yesss, whatever you say. O_o;; *They walk off towards nearest StarBucks.*  
  
The rest of the gang-Well, now that that's over....  
  
Tea- I guess we are staying for the night.   
  
Tristan- OOOOO Yugi, better reserve your bed next to Tea.   
  
Yugi-*cries* Why does everyone pick on ME?  
  
Joey-It's so easy. You're short, weak, have weird hair, bad fashion sense and no girlfriend. But besides that, you're not bad.  
(all of a sudden, I, THE ALMIGHTY AUTHORESS, descend from the ceiling and land next to Yugi)  
  
Me-It's ok Yugi, you get an extra zero on your paycheck! And even if you are all of that, you're still reallllyyy cute! *glomps Yugi, secretly thinking, if only Yami was here, he'd be the one that I'd be glomping-then I turn to Joey* Joey, you just be quiet. I know where you live. *Joey gulps*  
(I ascend back through the ceiling and dissapear)  
  
Joey-She's not so special. I could write a fic like this.  
  
Me- *shoots lightning bolt down* MUHAHAHAH, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A 2-DIMENSIONAL MORTAL! MUAHAHAH!  
  
Joey-O_o Don't make fun of my two-dimensional-ness! *hides behind Yugi which barely covers him*  
  
All-*sweatdrop*  
*******  
The end of chap. 3  
  
Yugi- Yami, I can't believe you killed 6000 slaves.   
  
Yami-What? It was for the good of Egypt! I swear! I didn't do it on purpose!  
  
Yugi- That's what they all say. It was ACTUALLY for the good of you.   
  
Yami-......... 


	4. Rants and Raves between ancient spirits

4- Rants Between Ancient Spirits and Hyperness  
  
*in Starbucks*  
Yami Malik- I never asked to be insane. Some would call it a curse. I call it a gift.  
  
Yami-Really? Well I always thought it was both.   
  
Yami Malik-Hmm I guess you're right. ^__^  
  
Yami-*slurps latte loudly* What did we ever do to be trapped in stupid objects and used for the rest of our life?  
  
Yami Malik-*blinks* I know! And we have the strangest aibous.   
  
Yami-*mumbles something in Ancient Egyptian, then* Tell me about it. Mine doesn't   
even believe that I built the pyramids. -__-  
  
Yami Malik-Did I ever tell you I have Turret's Syndrome?   
  
Yami-Really?  
  
Yami Malik-DIE! YOU WILL DIE! I HAVE A ROD AND IT CAN TURN INTO A KNIFE AND I WILL STAB YOU WITH IT UNTIL YOU ARE AS HOLEY AS A MACARONI DRAINER! DIE!  
  
Yami-I see. That actually clears a lot of things up. O_o  
  
Yami Malik-Yeah, I try not to tell too many people. I usually just let them believe that I am a suicidal maniac. Malik always lies. I never lost my teddy bear! It was his! And he blamed me! He's so mean sometimes. *sobs*  
  
Yami-*hugs Yami Malik* There, there. Just let it out. I know how these modern people can be. Let's go get a drink.  
  
Yami Malik-*sniffles* DIE DIE DIE! Ok, how do martinies sound? ^__^  
  
***meanwhile, back with the rest of the gang***  
Yugi walks over to a row of hard, plastic airline seats and lays down a towel over them.   
  
Malik-I suppose I have to sleep with you. My flight is tomorrow at 7:30 as well.  
  
Yugi-Why didn't you just come tomorrow morning?  
  
Malik-I dunno, I never thought of that. *shrugs*   
  
Joey-Does anyone know how we are gonna get through the metal detectors with the Millenium Puzzle and Rod? I mean, your rod is practically a weapon. Maybe not against Yugi's hair, but against everyone else.  
  
Malik-I'm sure my Yami will think of something. Maybe unleash hell apon the world if we don't get to go.  
  
Yugi-Or mine will challenge the security to a shadow game. Like who can drink the most cappachinos or annoy the most old ladies. He's good at annoying. -__-  
  
Tea- Do I hear a little resentment?   
  
Yugi-NO... *his face turns beet red and anyone who was there would assume that steam was going to come out of his ears any minute*  
  
Tea- *pops all of the sugar pills into his mouth* I'd rather him be hyper than angry.   
  
Tristen/Malik/Joey- WE WOULDN'T!   
*Instantly Yugi's eyes start to get wide, REALLY WIDE, as in wider than large dinner plates that Kaiba would have in his mansions, and he started to sway and sing. Then his hair puffed up as if someone had stuck his finger in a light socket and it sizzled a little bit*  
  
Joey-Ummmmmmm Tea? I think you overloaded his brain.  
  
Malik-That wasn't hard.  
  
Tea-Errr...Yugi?  
  
Yugi- *like a drunk* WHAT DO YA MEAN YOU WONT SLEEP WITH ME? I LIKE CAPTAIN CRUNCH!  
  
Tea-Errrr............O_o;;;;;  
  
Yugi- WHERE IS THE POPCORN? I HAVE TO REFILL THE PINK FLAMINGO FOR THE ROYAL BALL.  
*with this comment, Tristan stuffed Yugi into his pillow case and closed the top with duct tape, just incase he started to bounce again*  
  
Yugi-*from inside* I WANNA RIDE THE OCTOPUS! WHO TURNED OFF THE STROBE LIGHT?  
  
Tristan-That should hold him.   
  
*****  
  
*back w/ Yami and Malik, they walk into a Gold Platinum Lounge and walk up to the bar*  
  
Yami-I'll have a martini. Shaken, not stirred.   
  
Yami Malik- Same here. But can you put in one of those cool little umbrellas?  
  
Bartender-Can I see some ID?  
  
Yami-Ummmmm... I'M 5000 YEARS OLD! I THINK I'M OVERAGE! \_/  
  
Bartender-Can you prove it?  
  
Yami-Well...um....no.  
  
Yami Malik- *attempts to make his eyes huge and cute like Yugi's and Mokuba's but fails miserably and instead ends up looking like a puppy dog on drugs and suffering from leprosy* Pleaseeee????  
  
Bartender-No. Not unless you have ID.   
  
Yami-*inhales slowly, trying to calm himself down, his eye twitching, then* GYAAAAAA!!!!!! *he lunges at the bartender and tries to gag him when the bartender makes a ninja noise and knocks him unconsious on the floor, promptly placing a little umbrella in his hair and handing another one to Yami Malik*  
  
Bartender- Sorry about that. It happens alot around here, so I had to learn Kung Foo. It has served me well everytime.   
  
Yami Malik- *with astonished look on his face* WOW. Do you like world domination and endless suffering and pain and torture?  
  
Bartender- *thinks* As a matter of fact, I do.  
  
Yami Malik- Lets talk. ^__~*With that, they leave the bar with Yami still unconcious on the floor, little mini umbrella and all*  
  
********  
Hehehehe get ready for chapter 5....if Tristan has any fan girls they get to see him as the REAL man   
  
Yami- I can't believe you knocked me out.  
  
Me- It was for the good of us all.   
  
Yugi- ^___^   
  
Yami- Why are you smiling Yugi! If I'm knocked out, whose gonna protect you?   
  
Me- Me.   
  
Yami-D'OH! 


	5. Strip Poker

5-Strip Poker  
  
It's now dinner time. Joey, Tristan, Malik, Yugi and Tea are sitting on their "beds" and talking. Yugi isn't hyper anymore and has been let out of the pillow case. So far, they were banned from McDonalds, Pizza Hut and China Imports, due to Yami and Yugi's antics earlier that day. Now they were all waiting for Yami Malik and Yami Yugi to return from their little trip to Starbucks.  
  
Joey-Do you think we should go and find them?  
  
Tristan-Nahh, they're old enough to take care of themselves.  
  
Yugi-*grumbles* And I'm not?  
  
Tea-We never said that. -_-'  
  
Yugi-BUT YOU WERE THINKING IT! \_/  
  
Everyone else- *backs away*  
Suddenly, Yami Malik comes back smiling his head off and sits down next to Tea.   
  
Malik- \_/ WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?  
  
Yami Malik- ^__^ Out making friends. The bartender is so much like me! He was telling me about this time when he mixed lemonade and vodka and served it to kids at a birthday pa- *looks around at everyone* What?  
  
All- O_o  
  
Malik-That's it! No more friends for you! Get back in the rod! Get! Bad Yami Malik! Bad!   
  
Yami Malik- =( Don't you want me to make friends!? YOU'RE SO MEAN! *goes inside rod*  
  
Malik-^_^ That's better.  
  
Tea- -__- Did you ever think that YOU'RE the reason that your Yami is suicidal and insane?  
  
Malik-What's that Tea? You likkkeeee my Yami? Are you standing up for him???? ^__^  
  
Tea-*holds up her fist and gets little anime flames behind her head* I DON'T LIKE HIM!  
  
Everyone else- O_o;;  
  
Yugi-Where's my Yami?  
  
Malik- *shrugs* Probably in some alley or on the side of the road beaten and dying.  
  
Yugi-O_O!!!!! *cries*  
  
Tea- Now look what you did! You're gonna scar him for life.   
  
Yugi-Only DYING? WHY CAN'T HE BE DEAD!!!  
  
Tea- O_O? Yugi! What's gotten in to you! You don't really want him dead, do you?  
  
Yugi-See if I care. *sniffles*  
  
Malik-*zones out, then* My Yami says that he's unconcious in the Gold Platinum Bar and Lounge because he tried to assault the bartender after he said he was underage and demanded ID.  
  
Yugi-Damnit!  
  
Tea-PROFANITY! Yugi Mutou, go to your plastic airline seat and think about what you've done.  
  
Yugi-*grumbles and walks over to his seat*  
  
Tristan-How bout we play a game to pass the time?  
  
Joey-Yeahh!!!! SPIN THE BOTTLE!  
  
Tea-I feel strangely outnumbered.  
  
Joey-Nah, there's more than one girl here. (winks at Tristan)  
  
Tristan- \_/ JOEY!  
  
Joey-I never said it was you! ^___^  
  
Tristan- Grrrrrrrrr.... \___/  
  
Joey-Ok then, STRIP POKER! ^___^  
  
Malik-I got the cards!  
  
Tristan-That...I'm up for.  
  
Tea-I guess........  
  
Yugi-Hehehehehehe...I'm wearin' my lucky boxers ^__~  
  
Tea-Yugi! Are you thinking about what you've done?  
  
Yugi-I already thought about it!  
  
Tea-Well okay, in that case, let's play. But first....*runs off* *comes back dragging Yami Yugi*  
  
Yami Yugi-Hubbada, who?  
  
Tristan- We're playin' strip poker. Wake up!!!!  
  
Yami-Strip poker? *looks at Tea* Is that when she strips and you poke her? *Joey laughs and high-fives him*  
  
Tea-YAMI!!   
  
Yami-Sorry....^__^;; I was just kiddin'....  
  
Tea-*grumbles* Okay, Malik, deal. We can bet with these. *hands him a package of M & M's* Here is what will happen. If you bid higher than everyone else and you loose, you take off something. If you win, everyone else who bid takes off something. (I'm not sure how you really play so just bear with me here:-))  
The group gets in a circle and Malik deals out the cards. The order is Malik, Yami Yugi, Tea, Yugi, Tristan and Joey.  
  
Yami Yugi-*looks at cards* Oh, Ra. I bid ALL OF MY M&M'S!  
  
Joey-Oh crap. I forgot he's the King of Games.  
  
Yugi-*grumble grumble* -___-*  
  
Tea-I fold.  
  
Yugi-I fold. *grumble grumble*  
  
Tristan-I also bid all of my M&M'S!  
  
Yami- *shoots him angry glance* YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!  
  
Joey-I bid...NOTHING! BUHAHAH.  
  
Malik-Ummmmmmmm.......ummm.....SHUT UP YAMI MALIK I UNDERSTAND THAT THAT IS A PAIR, BUT I CAN'T PLAY IT! *starts hitting the rod against the floor, then straightens out his collar and smiles* I bid nothing.  
  
Joey-Ummm... O_o;;;  
  
Tea-Okay, Yami, Tristan, let's see your hands!  
  
Tristan-Hmmm...Full House!!! Buhahah!  
  
Yami-Royal Flush. ^___^ And it fits me, since I AM a pharaoh.  
  
Yugi-*grumble grumble*   
  
Tea-*sigh* Tristan, you gotta take off some clothes.  
  
Tristan-*removes shoe* There.  
  
After about 10 minutes of playing, Tristan is stripped down to his boxers, which reveal dancing penguins and choo-choo trains. Everyone else BUT Yami Yugi has taken off a peice of clothing.  
  
Tea-GROUP HUDDLE! *Yami Yugi moves over* Except you. You're not part of the group. So leave.  
  
Yami Yugi- =( *moves away* *eats M&M's*  
  
Tea-*whispers* Okay, we gotta take Yami Yugi down.   
  
Joey-*whispers* That's not gonna work! We can't do anything against his strip poker king-ness!  
  
Tea-*whispers* Yes we can! Malik, take over his body, and make it so he looses. ^___^  
  
Malik-I like how you think. ^__~  
  
Everyone moves back to sit down. Tristan is getting nervous, since the janitor woman is eyeing him. Yami Yugi deals. Everyone sits around and waits, smiling behind their hands.  
  
Tea-I bid....six M&M's.  
  
Yugi-I also bid 6!  
  
Tristan- I bid ALL OF MY M&M'S!  
  
Tea- You don't have any M&M's!  
  
Tristan-Exactly! That's why I'm bidding all of them!  
  
Tea-*gets up and smacks head against wall*  
  
Joey-I bid 3.  
  
Malik-I fold. ^___^  
  
Yami Yugi-I bid ALL OF- *stops abruptly, Malik has taken over his body with the rod* MY CLOTHES!   
  
Tea-^__^ All of your clothes? ^__~  
  
Yami Yugi-Yes-no-Yes, I mean...errg...Yes! And I also bid one of my M&M's! And I love Malik! *starts punching his own face*  
  
Malik-hehehehehe ^___^   
  
Everyone reveals their hands. Malik has nothing, Tea has a pair of 5's, Yugi has a pair of Queens, Tristan has nothing, and Joey has two pairs, a pair of 3's and a pair of 4's. Yami Yugi stops punching himself, and lays down his hand.   
  
All *but Yami Yugi*-WHAT!?!  
In front of them is a full house made up of two pairs and a two, which is wild.  
  
Tea-ARG! *takes off her socks*  
  
Yugi-*grumble, takes off shirt*  
  
Malik-WHAT?! *stares in disbelief and then takes off shirt as well*   
  
Tea-*stares at Malik* MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm.   
  
Malik-O_o;;;;; *pulls pillow case over himself*  
  
Joey-*takes off pants* Heheheh I thought I'd be different. *he's wearing boxers that say "Nice Bass," and show a picture of a fish on his butt* I bought them when I visited America!   
  
All-O_O;;  
  
Tristan- MUHAHAHA! I don't have to take off anything!   
  
Tea- Yes, yes, you do. You bet all of your M&M's. Even though you have nothing you STILL BET.  
  
Tristan-*gulps* *looks at janitor lady* Ummmm....ummmm....umm...*starts to sweat* ummm....ummm....MOMMY!  
  
Malik-*still has control of Yami Yugi's body* Yami Yugi, why don't you help him take off his boxers?  
  
Yami Yugi- *a look that would have put a scared little puppy dog to shame comes over his face* NOOOO! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO IT! NOOO!!!!!!!   
  
All but Yami yugi and Tristan- Do IT, do IT, do IT!  
  
Yami Yugi-*reaches unwillingly for Tristan's boxers* GYAA!!! *Malik cackles* *Tristan whimpers* *Yugi grumbles* *Joey shields his eyes* *Tea smiles*   
The tension is buidling as Yami Yugi daintily grabs the bottoms and starts to pull, when.....  
  
Yami Malik- *shoots out from Rod* DIE! YOU SHALL ALL DIE! DIE! DIE! DON'T TOUCH MY HOMIE! *smacks Malik* *pulls Yami Yugi away*  
  
Yami Yugi & Tristan-*sigh in relief* THANK THE GODS!  
  
Malik-Grrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Almost got a free show! I mean....  
  
All but Malik- O_o;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*infinte sweatdrops*  
  
  
********  
Please R&R! If the reviews are good I'll try to get around to writing more.  
  
Yami-AGHH! How could you make me touch his boxers!  
  
Yugi- You asked for it.  
  
Me- Plus, it was amusing.   
  
Yami- I'm scarred for life. I hope people flame you!  
  
Me- Now that's not a good thing to say! *zaps him with little lightning bolt*  
  
Yami-Hey! Watch it! You're gonna make my hair poof up!  
  
Yugi- I dont think it's gonna look much different.   
  
Yami-Watch it! 


	6. Here's to the Night

Ok I got around to finishing another chapter...Thankyou for the nice reviews! I've been having writer's block trying to think of what will happen to them but I've decided to give Yami a little break considering I've been abusing him a bit the last few chapters. :-D  
  
Yami-It's about time.  
********  
6-Here's to the Night ;-)  
  
It is now 11:00 at night in the airport. All the lights have been turned off and the doors locked. The gang have recovered from their game of strip poker which went horribly wrong, and are sitting around their "beds" telling ghost stories in the dark. They seem to be the only people left in the airport.  
  
Yugi- *with flashlight held under his face* And then I woke up....looked in the cabinet, and realized I ran out of hairgel !!!!!  
  
Tea- -__- That's not scary, Yuge.  
  
Joey-Yeah, I didn't even scream.  
  
Tristan-Hehehehe....Yugi, I think you scared ONE person. *points at Yami Yugi*  
  
Yami Yugi-*who is hidden behind Yami Malik, shivering with huge, wide eyes and sobbing* I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SLEEP FOR WEEKS! That was horrible!! HORRIBLE!  
  
Yugi- Hehehehe....guess what, Yami....the gel I ran out of was your favorite brand, "Stick em up."  
  
Yami-NOOO! MAKE IT STOP!  
  
Yugi-hehehehehehehe.  
  
Tea-You know Yugi, for someone who looks so innocent, you really are an evil son of a biatch.  
  
Yugi-hehehehehehehe.  
  
Suddenly, a noise makes them all turn around and stare into the darkness.  
  
Tea- Wh-what was that?  
  
Malik- I have no idea...but it sounded like a strangled cat.  
  
Joey- I thought it sounded like a can opener.  
  
Tristan- No, it was definately a fog horn. Definately.  
  
Everyone but Tristan- O__o;;  
  
Tea- Who is gonna check it out?  
  
No one volunteers. Suddenly, Yugi, who has been irritated with his Yami all night, decides to give him a little payback for being so darn talented all the time. He reaches into his bag, and takes out a bottle of gel, the "Stick em up" kind. He flips the cap and holds it upside-down.  
  
Yugi-I elect Yami. And if he doesn't go...*he squeezes the bottle and a drop of gel gloops out onto the floor*   
  
Yami- Aibou, put down the hair gel.  
  
Yugi- *squeezes out another drop*  
  
Yami-AIBOU....  
  
Yugi- *another drop*  
  
Yami-Fine!!!! I'll go. Just put the gel away. *cusses in ancient Egyptian and mopes off into the darkness towards the noise, until he can't be seen*  
  
Malik- *bows to Yugi* You've grown wise, young grasshoppa. ^__^  
  
Yami Malik- DIE! So what are we gonna do now? Just wait around and-  
  
A scream suddenly shot through the airport, cutting Yami Malik off. (If anyone has seen the episode of the Simpsons where Ned buys the mansion from Marge and screams like a girl when he sees the purple drapes, that's about the equivelant of this scream)   
  
Joey- Umm...if that was Yami, I hope he IS dead. That scream was worthy of- I don't know what it was worthy of. Something along the lines of peanut butter, sushi, pickles and M&M's all in one dish. *shudders*  
  
Tristan- That doesn't sound half bad.  
  
Tea- And you wonder why you have no fan girls.  
  
Meanwhile, while the group is bickering over who will go find Yami, Yami is planning a little revenge of his own. Laughing like a maniac, he crawls over to the McDonalds and finds all the ketchup packets he can.   
******  
  
Tea-FINE! You big babies. I'll go. Remind me to change your diapers when I get back. Man power. Who needs it. *grumble grumble*  
  
Tea makes her way into the dark and all the rest of the guys are laughing to themselves.   
  
Joey- Look, we're gettin rid of the mature people! Now I can stick straws up my nose, gel up my hair, and dance around like a deranged chicken!  
  
Everyone else- O_o;;;  
  
Yami Malik- Wow, you have more mental problems than me.  
  
***  
Back with Tea....  
Tea- Yami...HERE KITTY KITTY, YAMMMMIIIII! Hehe I never thought about it but the first part of his name spells "yam." Like a vegetable! hehehe.   
*Tea had brought the flashlight, and she slowly brought it up to eye level, scanning the walls*  
Tea- YAAAAMM- OH MY GOD! *she is staring up at one of the walls, which, etched in "blood" is the message:   
  
I KNOW WHERE YOU IVE.  
Tea- Huh? I know where you IVE? What the heck is IVE? It sounds like some Swedish cheese to me.  
  
Yami-Oh crap. Just great. *Yami has come out from behind the wall, with ketchup stains all over his hands and face* It was supposed to say, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE. Not, I KNOW WHERE YOU IVE. How did I manage to screw that one up?   
  
Tea-WHAT!?! YOU'VE BEEN PLAYIN US ALL ALONG! \_/  
  
Yami- No I swear! The ketchup made me do it! I SWEAR!  
  
Tea- Hehe. You're pretty cute when you're scared. ^__^   
  
Yami- Huh? *Before he can be more confused, Tea jumps him and furiously starts kissing him*  
  
Yami-Wha- the, he- *between kisses* Te- get off- me! O_o  
  
Tea- *stands up, brushes herself off* What did I just do? O_O   
  
Yami- YOU KISSED ME! THAT'S WHAT YOU DID! Wait a second...it's the ketchup! It's like catnip to the ladies. ^__~  
  
Tea- No it's not you idiot!   
  
Yami-So you like me?  
  
Tea- I never- I, I, I, I, ummmmmmmm, I, ummmmm, no?  
  
Yami- Well then....^__~, since we are ALONE, maybe we can...ya know...  
  
Tea- O_O YAMI!  
  
Yami- Scare the others! Why, what did you think I meant?  
  
Tea- Ummmm.....  
  
Yami- And you say I have the sick mind. -__- Anyway...let's get them back for sending us out into the dark. *holds up ketchup packets* I say we get Malik first.   
  
Tea- Sounds like a plan.   
  
Yami- And by the way...since we're being honest, I gotta tell ya...YOU SUCK AT FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES!   
***  
Back with the guys....  
  
Yugi- I'm gettin kinda worried. Tea has been gone a REAALLLY long time.  
  
Joey-Should we go look? I have an extra flashlight.  
  
Yami Malik- *munching on chili which he aquired from no where...between bites* DIE! DIE! I WILL KILL YOU ALL, PULL OUT YOUR EYES, AND USE THEM INSTEAD OF BANANAS IN MY CEREAL! DIE!   
  
Joey- O_o, Malik how do you deal with that? After a day I'd take a hacksaw to the rod.  
  
Malik- *sighs* You learn to live with it. Let's go find them.  
  
Yugi- Yeah, and if anything comes near us, Yami Malik can kill him with his gas. Chili...now that's evil.  
  
The group walks off, following the same path as Tea and Yami. Soon, they come to the same wall that Tea read.  
  
Yugi- I KNOW WHERE YOU IVE? What's IVE?  
  
Joey- It sounds like a species of rabid cow.  
  
Tristan- Or maybe a foghorn. Definately a foghorn.  
  
Everyone else- O_o  
  
Joey- Is it blood?  
  
Tristan- *licking fingers* Nope, ketchup.  
  
Malik-Ewwww...  
  
They keep walking, until suddenly, Malik freezes, staring straight ahead, with huge eyes.  
  
Malik- AHHHh!!!!!!  
  
Yami Malik- O_O  
  
In "blood" on the wall, is smeared the message...  
  
YOU'RE NEXT, SHORT SHORTS  
  
  
*****  
Yami- Revenge is sweet.  
  
Yugi- So is chocolate! ^_^   
  
Yami- You got a point there...but honestly, Yugi, would you rather have revenge...or chocolate?  
  
Yugi- Chocolate.   
  
Yugi- I guess that's why you're the light side.  
  
Yugi- OOHH LOOK! A PUFFY CLOUD!  
  
***  
That's all for now...if you have any suggestions for who should be the next person Yami get's revenge on, or any suggestions as to what the gang should go through...feel free to tell! R&R pleez :-D 


	7. Millenium Men Mayhem

Guesss who's back, back again...hehehe time for some good revenge by a person whose name begins with Ya and ends with Mi. Here is chappy seven! And under request I will definately show what is happening to Yami Bakura and Ryou, who are STILL in the last part of their flight. Sorry if it seems like a long flight. I don't know the actual time of a flight from Japan to Hawaii, so sue me:-) But anyhoo...here we go, and I think I'm goin to make Yugi the next victim of Yami. Only cuz I was sitting at my kitchen table doing absolutely nothing when an evil thought popped into my head as to what will happen to him. So enjoy!  
  
*****  
At the same time that all of this revenge and ketchup, strip poker, and love is happening our two other friends are having an adventure of their own. In a plane far, far away...Ryou and Yami Bakura are sitting in the coach section waiting for the flight to end so they can relax on a beach in sunny, happy Hawaii, and laugh it up when the others come many hours later. But as of now, neither Ryou or Yami Bakura are relaxing, for Ryou has discovered what a wreck ancient spirits go into when they board a plane. It wasn't even Yami Bakura's first flight, but he was still ovverreacting, to the annoyance of the passengers around him, and the embarrasment of poor, poor Ryou. At that moment, Yami Bakura had his fingernails dug into the seat's armrests, and was humming something while darting his suspicious eyes out the window. Ryou is patiently reading a magazine and sipping on Mountain Dew. Suddenly, the plane encounters some turbulence.  
  
Yami Bakura- Oh Ra, we're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!!! *he pulls the oxygen mask down from the overhead compartment and starts inhaling rapidly as if he just surfaced from a lake after being down there 20 minutes*   
  
Ryou-Shhhh, calm your hormones! Honestly, it's just a little turbulence. TURBULENCE. Not plummeting 5000 feet into the ground and blowing up. Just a little, harmless turbulence.  
  
Yami Bakura- *now completely mortified* 5000 FEET? *stand up, pulls out his cushion, blows it up into it's "floatable" form, and hugs it so tightly that the seams start popping*  
  
Ryou-*smacks head into wall as he hears people mumbling* Here. Let me try to relax you. Ready? Close your eyes.  
  
Yami Bakura- Ooooooohhhh no. No way mister. I know this trick, I used it SO many times as a theif in Egypt. You relax them and then steal their valuables and tie them to the back of a camel. When they wake up, they are covered in camel dung and are dragged half way across a desert, completely BROKE.  
  
Ryou- O_o;;; Umm, I was just trying to save you some of your pride. For god sakes, take off that oxygen mask, put that cushion back under your butt and grow up!  
  
Yami Bakura- WHAT DID U SAY TO ME? I'll teach you little white haired, big brown eyed, too innocent for your own good, good for nothing little bishonen! *is just about to jump Ryou and strangle him with the chord from his oxygen mask when a flight attendent walks up*  
  
Attendent-Sir, sir...SIR! *Yami Bakura looks up* Sir, we have your food. Do you want the alfredo or the hamburger?  
  
Yami Bakura- *not getting off of a suffocating Ryou* Umm...is it CHICKEN alfredo?  
  
Attendent- Yes.   
  
Yami Bakura- If I cluck do I get 50 cents off?  
  
Attendent- That's Burger King, sir.   
  
Yami Bakura- Oh. Well then I want the hamburger.  
  
Attendent-*hands him a tinfoil wrapped package and plastic utensils* Sir, I think he can't breath. *points to Ryou, who is seriously BLUE*  
  
Yami Bakura- Oh, don't worry. That happens to him a lot.   
  
Attendent- All right!  
  
Yami Bakura- *lets Ryou up as the attendent leaves* NEVER SPEAK LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN. Evverrr.. *unwraps hamburger, just as the person in front of him lowers his seat right into his lap* EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT I'M TRYING TO EAT, AND YOUR GIANT BALDSPOT IS RUINING MY APPETITE!!!  
  
Man-*snores*  
  
Yami Bakura- That's it! \_/ *unwraps tin foil and takes out dilapidated sandwich* You watch this Ryou, it's a little trick I learned. *pops peice in his mouth, and then starts making a seen, jumping up and down, and holding his neck* OHMIGOD! There's a horse eye in this sandwich! OHMIGOD! *everyone turns to look, the attendent rushes over*  
  
Attendent- Sir, hamburgers aren't made of horse.  
  
Yami Bakura- WELL THIS ONE IS! And don't make me send you to the shadow rea-  
  
Ryou-*holding his Yami's mouth shut* Umm...eh....my friend is...umm...he is sorta...umm..sorry!  
  
Attendent- Oh, does he have a mental problem?  
  
Ryou- *lies, hoping it will get him out of trouble* Why yes, he does.   
  
Attendent-Why didn't you say so???? People with sicknesses automatically get first class. *smiles happily*   
  
Yami Bakura-*as she directs them to the front* Told you. It works EVERY time.  
  
***  
Back with the rest of the gang....  
  
Malik- AHHH!!! THE PERSON WHO KILLED TEA AND YAMI IS AFTER ME!!!  
  
Yugi- How do you know that Yami and Tea are dead?  
  
Malik-I don't. I'm just making an educated guess.  
  
Yugi-How is that EDUCATED? We already know that the "blood" is in fact, ketchup.  
  
Malik-WELL LA-DI-DA. So are you saying that Yami and Tea are playing a trick on us?  
  
Yugi-No, it was the birds which fly around with bananas attached to their legs YES OF COURSE ITS YAMI AND TEA!  
  
Joey-How did the birds get bananas on their legs?  
  
Tristan-They grew there. Kinda like warts.  
  
Joey-Ohhh. Now I understand. All this time I thought the bananas were tied by strings.  
  
Yugi-O_o;;;;;   
  
Malik-HELLLOO, I'M GONNA DIE! What will they do to me?  
  
Yugi-I dunno, but I don't think it will be good. Hey, where's Yami Malik?  
  
Malik-Oh god. The psycho has flown the perch.  
  
Joey- You mean Yami Malik is a bird too? Does he like bananas?  
  
Malik+Yugi- O_o;;;  
  
Malik-Ohhhh Yami? Where are you? Heelllo-*suddenly, he freezes in midsentence and stares around with frightened eyes...something has control of him*   
  
Malik-I...can't...move....help...Yugi...anyone....please...........*just then his foot moves forward slowly, towards Joey* Please....help!  
  
Yugi-Errr...this is kinda funny.  
  
Malik-Yugi...when....I....can....move....again....I....swear....  
  
Yugi-What do you swear?  
  
Malik-Ah........screw........it.........it........takes.......too.........long...........to........talk....  
*suddenly his foot takes another step forward and he is now a foot away from Joey*  
  
Malik-PLEASE...HELP...THIS....LOOKS....BAD....  
  
****  
From behind the wall  
  
Yami Malik-Heehehehe I've never felt so alive.   
  
Yami Yugi-*wipes tear away* This is the happiest day of my life T_T *tear*  
  
Tea-MUHAHAHAHA....NOW...GO YAMI MALIK! MAKE HIM PAY!  
  
Yami Yugi- You know , you'd make a very good wicked witch. Or a good duelist. You have that commanding attitude. But you'd never win any IMPORTANT duels with those pansy cards. Shining Friendship? Petit Angel? WHAT THE HECK KIND OF CARDS ARE THOSE? You might as well throw flowers and hershey kisses at people!   
  
Tea- *sniffles*  
  
Yami Yugi- I mean...I meant....  
  
Tea- THAT WAS SO SWEET! I can't believe you actually care enough to tell me that to my face! *glomps Yugi*  
  
Yami Malik- *cough* MENTAL PROBLEMS *cough*  
  
Yami-*shoots him a scared glance* JUST GET THIS OVER WITH. So I can have MY fun. With little Yugi. Muhahahaha!  
  
Yami Malik smiles. He then aims his rod, which had been controlling Malik the whole time, directly at Joey.   
***  
Yami Malik- *plants a huge wet kiss on Joey* AHHH....HELP...ME...IT'S....NOT....OVER....  
  
Joey-Hey! THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS! AND I WASTED IT ON YOU! (authors note:DONT GET ME WRONG, I LOVE JOEY:-) he's just so fun to make fun of)  
  
Yami Malik- I....don't....care....*suddenly he starts dong the macarena, and singing along. As he nears the finale, he reaches for his shorts and shouts.. "MACARENA!" where he promptly pulls them up as hard as he can...giving himself the biggest wedgie ever possible in human history*  
  
Yami Malik- O_O OUCH.  
  
*****  
Heheheh there ya go...next chapter it's Yugi and Tristan's turn! And maybe Joey if it doesn't get too long, but I hope you enjoyed!  
  
Yami-*does little happy dance* THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER SO FAR.  
  
Yugi-You just liked it cuz you caused severe pain to somebody. You do know, that Malik may never be a father. All because of that wedgie. He's scarred for life. Literally.  
  
Yami-O_O *then,* O WELL! *does happy dance again*  
  
Yugi-I'm gonna go find myself another Yami. See you in a few! 


	8. Innocence, Revenge, Forgiveness, and FRE...

Okay I got around to writing another chapter! I was busy writing another ficcy which should be comin out soon- It's gonna be an angst fic which involves a few unlikely couples- Yami/Mai, and Joey will be the poor guy who is the third wheel...trust me I'll justify the fact that Mai is materialistic blah blah lol...and another one called Egyptian Soul...just posted! Woo hoo! But back to this fic:-) I'm sorry for the mix up on the last part of chap 7-it was definately supposed to be Malik who gave himself the massive wedgie lol and for everyone who is confused....Shadi is the one with the turban, he is not in this fic, and Malik appears later in Battle City? He's basically an evil guy who wants to take over the world- kinda like Pinky and the Brain! hehe But here we go on w/ the fic- I'm gonna try to make the chapters longer due to the fact that they aren't even through the night and it is 7 chapters...so enjoy and as always...please R&R!  
  
****  
As Malik is getting the wedgie treatment, Bakura and Ryou are getting the ROYAL treatment in the first class section.  
  
Ryou- Only an hour left! Aren't you excited?  
  
Bakura-*rolls eyes* Honestly, how great can this "Hawaii" place be? It's probably not even as hot as Egypt and-  
  
Suddenly the intercom sounds with a message from the cockpit.  
  
Cockpit- Alright, everyone we are going to turn off the seatbelt signs, you are free to move about the cabin.  
  
Bakura-*looks up* O_O OMIGOD! RA IS TALKING TO ME! ALMIGHTY RA, I AM YOUR FAITHFUL SERVANT!  
  
Ryou- -_-;; That's only a message from the cockpit. See? Look! *points to speaker above Bakura's head*  
  
Bakura- *looks at all the buttons and speaker* Look! *points to no smoking button* It's the sign of the burnt offering! Quick, I need half a dozen lambs, six virgins and one innocent bystander.  
  
Ryou- Listen, Yami, that's a no smoking si-  
  
Bakura- *grabs Ryou* You'll do. You're innocent enough.  
  
Ryou- Yami! LISTEN! That's only a no smoking button! YAMI!  
  
Bakura- Shush! Offerings aren't supposed to talk! *gets up from seat, dragging Ryou towards kitchen area* QUICKLY! FIRE! GIVE ME FIRE!  
  
Waitress- Have you seen a Pyro Support Group lately?  
  
Bakura- What, no! Oh nevermind. *grabs Ryou and runs him into the tiny bathroom, placing him over the sink*  
Almighty Ra, ACCEPT MY OFFERING! *just then the automatic toilet goes off and Bakura jumps a mile*No!! Ra is angry and he's sent a demonic force after me! I hear it's maddening roar! *runs out and slams door shut, holding it there, panting for breath*  
  
Ryou- *muffled from inside* LET ME OUT! YAMI! THIS ISN'T FUNNY, IT SMELLS IN HERE!  
  
Bakura-Now the demonic force is trying to trick me! O_O TAKE THE OFFERING, YOU BEAST! SPARE YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT!  
  
Just then a rather large passenger walks up carrying a Battle Galactica comic and wearing a giant white shirt which reads "I survived the International Battle Bots Convention."   
  
Passenger- Excuse me, is that occupied? *points to bathroom*  
  
Bakura- *pauses, looks him up and down* You look like a virgin to me. *shoves him into the bathroom, cramming him on top of Ryou* THERE, RA! A VIRGIN AND A INNOCENT LASS! TAKE MY OFFERING!  
  
Ryou- *even more muffled* I AM NOT A LASS! *turns to passenger* WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS?  
  
Passenger-Do you like Battle Bots?  
  
Ryou- AHHh!!!!! YAMI! HELP ME PLEASE!  
  
****  
  
Back with Tristan, Joey, Yugi and a rather "pained" Malik  
  
Malik-*on the floor* Owwwww...owwwww...............owwwwww...  
  
Joey- Let me guess...oww?  
  
Malik- Yesssss....does anyone have a pair of tweezers?  
  
Yugi, Tristan, Joey- *cringe at the mental picture* TOO MUCH INFOR- MA -TION!  
  
Malik-Please...someone...help me up...is my lower half supposed to be numb?   
  
Yugi- O_o, errrr, that doesn't sound very healthy...why'd you give yourself a wedgie anyway!?!?  
  
Malik-I didn't! Well, technically I did, but I was forced to! I swear! All of a sudden, I felt something, CONTROLLING me..and...and...wait a second. YAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tristan, Yugi, Joey- *cover ears*  
  
Malik-WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM, I SWEAR....owwwwwwwww.........  
  
Tristan- You probably shouldn't move.   
  
Malik- *in extremely high voice* Yeah. I just realized that.  
  
***  
From behind the wall  
  
Tea- That was priceless! The look on his face! HAHAHA!  
  
Yami Malik- Tea, you've never been more beautiful in my eyes then you are right now, laughing at the pain of others. But remember. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then, it's hilarious. (hehe that's not my joke) Oh yeah, I forgot. DIE DIE DIE!  
  
Tea- *blushes* Awwww.....  
  
Yami Yugi- Well guys, there's one problem. They know that it's us. So we have to do something, FAST. And I think I have an idea.  
****  
  
Back outside the wall....  
  
Yugi- Well, if you really think it's them, let's start looking.   
  
Tristan-Alrighty. I say Malik goes in the back. I just DON'T like the view.  
  
Malik-Errrrrr.....  
  
The four victims walk further into the darkness, shining their only flashlight on every wall for more ketchup messages. Just then, they find what they are looking for. In ketchup, this time, on the floor, is a long, ketchupy message.  
  
  
Tristan, Tristan,  
We see you there,  
You try to be cool,  
But look at your hair.  
You won't get off easy,  
You sent us away,  
You'll just have to wait,   
Cuz today is your day.  
  
Tristan- Bravo! That was beautiful!  
  
Joey- You doofus! You're next!  
  
Tristan-Really? I didn't figure that out yet. My English-dub brain makes me 50% dumber.  
  
Joey-Don't worry, they make me sound dumb too. The only person who sounds smart is Yugi.  
  
Yugi-Well as soon as they make a show called JO-EY-OH, or TRIS-TAN-OH, then you can complain! I have to do all the thinking!  
  
Joey- Well at least you got to keep your real name!! They must have been looking through a book of jobs when they gave us our last names! Tristan TAYLOR, Joey WHEELER, Tea GARDENER....  
  
Yugi-hehehehehe....that IS kinda funny....  
  
Tristan- AHHH!!! *points straight ahead, past the ketchup message, towards a dark hallway...*  
  
Yami Yugi- *covered in ketchup, his hair messed up and lurching forward* YUGI, please, they got me...you...must...get...out....*stumbles forward into Yugi's arms, then hits the ground*  
  
Yugi- YAMI!   
  
Yami Yugi- Yugi, everything is going....dark....  
  
Yugi- *looks down, noticing that it is just ketchup* Yami, it is ALREADY dark....  
  
Yami Yugi- Okay then, everything is getting brighter, I see a light, at the end of a long tunnel and all of those 6000 slaves are standing there...the ones that I killed, they are welcoming me back with slingshots and spears...Yugi...I'll miss you...*his head drops to his shoulder and he sticks his tongue out, trying to look as dead as possible*  
  
Yugi- -______-   
  
Tristan- HE'S DEAD! OH, HE WAS SOOO YOUNG...  
  
Joey- No he wasn't, he was 5,000!  
  
Tristan- SOOO YOUNG.....  
  
Malik- You idiots. He's not dead. *bends down and tickles Yami Yugi who tries to contain his laughter before cracking up*  
  
Yugi- Yami! How could you trick us like that?   
  
Yami- Yami is not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep.   
  
Yugi- ERG! *pushes Yami off his lap and takes off Millenium Puzzle*   
  
Yami- YUGI! *puppy dog eyes* WHY DID YOU TAKE IT OFF!?  
  
Yugi- You're so IMMATURE!  
  
Yami- WHAT!? THE KING OF GAMES, IMMATURE?!  
  
Yugi- YES!  
  
Tristan and Joey- CAT FIGHT! REOWRR!  
  
Malik- Who's got the popcorn? This could get good. I'm betting that Yami will win.   
  
Joey- They fight like a married couple.  
  
Suddenly, both turn towards Joey, with anger in their eyes.  
  
Yugi and Yami- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?  
  
Joey- Errr....I sure hope I marry a couple...um....birds with bananas on their legs?  
  
Yugi and Yami- MIND CRUSH!!!!!!  
  
Everyone stares in shock as they attack Joey head on. Malik watches as Joey is shot backwards into Tristan and then falls onto the floor.  
  
Tristan- WHAT DID YOU DO?  
  
Joey- *gets up, dusts himself off* No, no, it's okay, no harm done...  
  
Yami- WHA? How!?! You should be in a state of vegetableness!  
  
Joey- *knocks head* It's hollow.   
  
Yugi- *looks upset and then slowly, his frown turns into a smile* HE HAS NO MIND TO CRUSH!  
  
In a complete change of events, everyone is laughing and smiling. Yami is hugging Yugi, who is apologizing for ever being mean to him *awww its so cute* and Malik is busy picking his wedgie. *ewww* But while all this is happening, Tea and Yami Malik are planning something evil, FAR BEYOND evil, to get Yugi back. Little do they know that Yami Yugi doesn't wanna get revenge on his Hikari anymore, after the recent change of events. At the moment, Tea has found where McDonalds keeps the fries that they don't use or are going to throw out and has gotten as many fries as she can. She puts them all into a bigger container and then, instead of adding SALT to the fries, pours on loads and loads of sugar. They still look relatively normal, although some might say that SOMEONE who made them had a little too much fun with the salt shaker. (A/N-I am getting Yugi sugar high again due to popular demand, I just had to think of a way to do it)  
Finally, Tea and Yami Malik emerge from their hiding spot, concealing the fries behind their back. They are stunned to see Yami and Yugi hugging but decide to still carry out the plan. Yugi notices them and pulls away.  
  
Yugi-Hey! You guys had us worried there for a little bit! Where'd you go?   
  
Malik-I know where they went. They were in it with Yami! And now it's my turn! That wedgie cost me my pride, sanity and ability to make babies! DIE! I HAVE A ROD THAT CAN CONTROL YOUR BODY AND I WILL- I WILL, UM...  
  
Yami Malik- *shakes head* I'm ashamed of you, Malik. You can't even think of a god threat.  
  
Malik- *hangs his head in shame*   
  
Tea- Hey guys, since all is forgiven, let's go over and relax by our seats now. *she winks at Yami Malik*  
  
Yami Malik- Yes, relax. By our seats. Now.   
  
Everyone agrees and tiredly move back over to sit down on the other side of the airport and relax by their "beds." Yami and Yugi sit next to eachother and are smiling happily, back to being friends again. Tea and Yami Malik are sitting next to eachother, smiling their butts off for reasons of their own. Malik is glaring daggers at his Yami. Joey and Tristan are busy looking for food.  
  
Joey- All that ketchup made me hungry for something to eat.   
  
Tristan- Yeah, we forgot to stock up on grub!  
  
Tea- *whispers to Yami Malik* This is perfect! He couldn't have given us a better opening! *takes fries from behind her back, making it look like she took them out of her bag* Hey boychicks! Look! I forgot to tell you, before Yugi jumped into the deep frier, we managed to buy some fries and I packed a bunch for the plane trip. Want some? Yugi, you can have them first.  
  
Yugi-Why's that?  
  
Yami- Height before beauty.   
  
Yugi-Hey! *this time Yugi takes the joke* Well, I guess a few fries can't hurt...*takes some off the top and pops them in his mouth*  
  
Tristan and Joey are drooling, Yami is just watching, Tea and Yami Malik are literally peeing themselves and Malik is still trying to pick his wedgie.  
  
Yugi-Mmm!! They taste sweet! *then...Yugi suddenly jumps up onto the airline seat, his eyes getting wide again and his hair poofing up, whips off his shirt and starts singing into an uneaten fry...* NORTH CAROLINA, COME ON AND RAISE UP! TAKE YA SHIRT OFF, TWIST IT ROUND YA HEAD, SPIN IT LIKE A HELICOPTA!!!! *with that he swings his shirt around his head and attempts to take off from the seat by jumping into the air. Instead, he falls flat on his face and continues to sing before sitting up and staring straight at Yami, like a deer caught in headlights. Finally, he snaps out of it and starts to sing again, still into the fry* EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FOO FIGHTING, NANANANANANA! HIYA! *Yugi then attempts to slice his hand through Yami's hair, to no avail and smears some of the extra ketchup from Yami onto his cheeks with his fingers, making himself look like an Indian decorated in war paint* CHUNGA WUNGA, CHUNGA WUNGA, CHUNGA WUNGA!!!!!! *finally, he spins around where he stands and falls flat on his face, ceasing all movement*  
  
Everyone else besides Tea and Yami Malik who are cracking up so hard they are crying- O_O O_O O_O  
  
****  
  
Yami- PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:  
Please everyone, stay in your homes, lock your doors and bar your windows, the effects of Yugi's sugar high are still not over and done with.  
  
Yugi- *leaning against tree* WHAT'S THAT GRANDMOTHER WILLOW? KILL YAMI? OKAY!   
  
Yami- AHHHH!!!!!  
  
Hehe some of you might be wondering what Tristan's revenge was...don't worry...it will be revealed *insert evil laugh here* Byebye!  
  
*~*~Yunique*~*~ 


	9. New Relations

CHAPTER 8!! It has been such a hectic month and school has been loading me with homework, which is why I haven't updated in a while- I'm so sorry! I haven't even had enough time to eat nevermind write! lol and of course, the writers block, which I finally overcame! I have a lot planned for this story...and it includes swimmies, water, Yami's, and desert islands- MUAHAH! But I'm not sure when I can get chapter 10 out, I'll see how much I can get in this weekend. Hope you like this chapter, I made it a little longer to make up for the fact that I haven't updated in like a month! Enjoy!  
Chap 8   
***  
Back to: The Adventures of Ryou and Bakura  
  
  
The flight is nearing it's end. After escaping the airplane potty, Ryou refused to talk to Bakura and sat with his arms crossed for the rest of the flight, looking out the window. (A/N) He is now a lisenced expert on Battle Bots.   
  
  
  
Bakura-Jingle bells, jingle bells...Ryou....RRRRRRRyouuu.....  
  
  
  
*Ryou continues to stare out the window*  
  
  
  
Bakura-I'm sorry I locked you in the potty. I'm sorry I called you a lass. I'm sorry I tried to sacrifice you to my gods.  
  
  
  
*Ryou continues to stare out the window*  
  
  
  
Bakura-I'm sorry?  
  
  
  
*Ryou continues to stare out the window and reaches out, without looking, to get his Mountain Due*  
  
  
  
Bakura- Did you know that Mountain Due lowers sperm count?  
  
  
  
Ryou- *takes cup away from lips and puts it back onto the mini-table*  
  
  
  
Bakura- That's what I thought. Wouldn't want to screw up your chances of having any white-haired little hellians.   
  
  
  
Cockpit- We have arrived at our destination and will be landing soon. Please fasten your seatbelts, put up your tray tables and prepare for landing. Thankyou for flying with us.  
  
  
  
Bakura-*buckles himself in as the plane starts to descend* OOOOOOOhhhh...my ears are popping....popping...ow....popping...hey my voice sounds funny! *makes face and starts talking in high voice* WE REPRESENT, THE LOLLIPOP GUILD!  
  
  
  
Ryou-*continues to stare out window*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *unbuckles quickly and jumps over Ryou's lap to stare out the window* Oohhh lots of little people! They look like ants that you could just step on! Hey, I bet that fat lady is the queen!   
  
  
  
Ryou-*looks away from window and starts to stare at an overhead compartment*  
  
  
  
Bakura-Come on Ryou! If you don't talk to me, then I'll burn all you're Nsync cd's!  
  
  
  
Ryou-*stares at overhead compartment*  
  
  
  
Bakura-And not only will I burn all you're Nsync cd's, but I'll break you're Malibu Barbie and dye her hair like Yugi's!  
  
  
  
Ryou-*eye twitches, then* NOOO!!! Not like Yugi's!!!!  
  
  
  
Bakura-*smiles devilishly* I knew that would work. Now doesn't that fat lady look like she could be the queen ant?  
  
  
  
Ryou-*sighs* Don't make fun of people. Have you looked in the mirror lately?  
  
  
  
Bakura- Yep, I look just like you.  
  
  
  
Ryou-*sighs again* Alright, we're landing. Buckle up.  
  
  
  
Bakura-I can't die! What's the point? If I go flying forward I'll just hit the seat and be unharmed.   
  
  
  
Ryou-*draws in breath slowly* Okay. Do whatever you want.  
  
  
  
Bakura-Okay! *gets up quickly and runs towards airplane potty*in a muffled voice* ALMIGHTY RA, ACCEPT MY OFFERING! *seconds later the automatic toilet goes off* EEK! *comes running out* That was close.  
  
  
  
Ryou-*continuously hits forehead against seat in front of him* Only....4...more...minutes...only...4...more...minutes...  
  
  
  
**  
4 Minutes Later  
**  
  
  
Ryou and Bakura have exited the plane, and are now in the airport, lugging their giant suitcases behind them. Bakura is looking around the airport exitedly and Ryou's patience has drawn very thin. They walk up to one of those moving escalators, which are on the floor instead of stairs. Ryou steps onto it and immediately starts moving without walking. Bakura stops dead in his tracks.  
  
  
  
Bakura-*turning white* YOU'RE MOVING WITHOUT MOVING YOUR FEET! DEMON! *makes his fingers into a sign which is supposed to ward off monsters*  
  
  
  
Ryou-*turns around* Huh? Oh man. Yami, calm down. This is just a moving conveyer. It moves you so that you don't have to carry your bags.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *as Ryou gets further away* Don't leave me!  
  
  
  
Ryou- Get on!  
  
  
  
Bakura- *starts getting big puppy dog eyes* I can't.   
  
  
  
Ryou-Why!?!   
  
  
  
Bakura- *whispers* I'm scared.  
  
  
  
Ryou- Ugh. What a protective spirit YOU are. Fine. I'll come and get you.  
  
Bakura- What if that conveyer thing isn't really a conveyer thing?  
  
  
  
Ryou-What? Oh nevermind. Stay right there. *finishes his ride on the conveyer, takes the one in the opposite direction back to his Yami-takes Bakura's hand*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *takes a step on the conveyer...starts moving* Errrr....*10 seconds later* AHHH! *turns around and starts running as fast as he can to no avail- he stays in the same spot* HELPPPPPPP MEEEEE!  
  
  
  
Ryou- *covers Bakura's mouth* Shush! Listen! It's not gonna hurt you!  
  
  
  
*20 minutes later*   
A frazzled looking Ryou and a VERY frazzled looking Bakura arrive at the rent-a-car station. The attendent shows them to their car, a very sporty looking, red one and they both get in. It's Ryou's turn to drive.  
  
  
  
Ryou- *sighs* Finally, we're here. Off to the hotel. *starts car and they head onto the highway*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *takes a little dancing hula girl out of his pocket and places it on the dashboard*  
  
  
  
Ryou- How'd you get that?  
  
  
  
Bakura- Hmm...how do you think a TOMB ROBBER gets ANYTHING?  
  
  
  
Ryou- YOU DIDN'T.  
  
  
  
Bakura- He won't miss it!  
  
  
  
Ryou- He?  
  
  
  
Bakura- I took it off a hobo outside the airport. He had really cool dreads. But he won't miss it.   
  
  
  
*SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE THE AIRPORT*  
  
  
  
Hobo- *wakes up* WHERE ARE YOU MY DARLING? *checks pockets* OMIGA! SHE'S....GONE! OH CRUEL, CRUEL WORLD! *cries* I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR! *runs away to Antarctica to be eaten by Polar Bears*  
  
  
  
**back to the car**  
  
  
  
Suddenly, out of the blue, something comes shooting out of the sky and is heading straight towards Ryou and Bakura's car, which is stuck in traffic...  
  
  
  
Bakura- *looks up* HIT THE DECK! *unbuckles and jumps into the backseat, just as a bright red/orange bird lands on the seat next to Ryou, which USED TO belong to Bakura*   
*peeks over backseat* What IS that thing? It looks like...it looks like a deformed fruit! Can we eat it?  
  
  
  
Ryou- *stares down at the bird* WHAT? It's a bird, not a fruit, and you can't eat it. Is it dead?   
  
  
  
The bird is on it's back, with it's legs up in the air, looking paralyzed.   
  
  
  
**A/N- This is the funniest looking bird! It's not really from Hawaii, but I had to put it in, cuz I needed a hilarious animal- if you want a picture of it- the site is   
  
  
  
http://www.animalsoftherainforest.org/cockoftherock.htm**Back to the story...  
  
  
  
All of a sudden, the bird jumps onto it's feet, cocks it's head to look at Ryou next to it, and then flies up into his hair.  
  
  
  
Ryou- Mommy! Get it out!  
  
  
  
Bakura-*stifles laughter as the bird starts to strut around on top of Ryou's head* I think it likes you...  
  
  
  
Ryou- Well I don't care! If it wants to be a gay bird then it can go right ahead! But I'm not gay! Get it offffff!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Don't be such a crybaby. I'm sure it'll leave. *the bird dives into Ryou's mane of hair and snuggles up into a "nest"* Uhhh....minus that part. It looks pretty comfortable. If it's gonna stay, can I name it?  
  
  
  
Ryou- IT'S NOT STAYING! *tries to pick bird out of his hair, but the beast pecks his fingers and he stops trying* Stupid bird! Ouch! *traffic starts moving and Ryou is forced to drive and ignore the bird*  
  
  
  
Bakura- I think I have a few names for it. Hmm...Deformed Fruit, Snowball...*watches as bird pecks at Ryou who is still trying to swat it out while palmin' the wheel* I got it! AibouAnnoyer 2002! Or Bakura Jr. for short. *smiles evilly* You're a good little bird, aren't you AibouAnnoyer2002? Aren't you? Yes you are, yes you are!  
  
  
  
Ryou- Stop it Yami! Baby talk is only for BABIES and abnormal married couples!  
  
  
  
Bakura- *crosses arms and pouts* Fine! AIBOUANNOYER2002! ATTACK! *the bird pecks viciously at Ryou's head*   
  
  
  
Ryou- OUCH! Make-OUCH!-it stop!  
  
  
  
Bakura- PECK MY PRETTY! MUAHAHAH!  
  
  
  
Ryou- YAMI!  
  
  
  
Bakura- FEEL IT'S FEATHERY WRATH! MUHAHA!  
  
  
  
***  
30 Minutes Later at Hotel  
***  
  
  
  
Ryou and Bakura enter into the hotel lobby wheeling their suitcases. Bakura is all smiles since he made his new friend, the deformed fruit, and Ryou has decided that when he gets home from Hawaii, he is getting a buzzcut. The bird is currently nestled in his hair, gazing around.  
  
  
  
Lobby Person- Welcome to Palm Tree Springs! Can I have your name sir?  
  
  
  
Ryou- Ryou Bakura. I have some rooms reserved for other people too, but they'll be here later. Me and my, erm, cousin here need a room for two.   
  
  
  
Lobby Person- No problem. Do you want a cot?  
  
  
  
Ryou- What for?  
  
  
  
Lobby Person- *points at bird*   
  
  
  
Ryou- Oh. I don't think he'll need one. He seems perfectly happy sleeping in my hair.  
  
  
  
Bakura- Do we have room service?  
  
  
  
AibouAnnoyer2002- *squawks* Do we have room service? Do we have room service? Room service! Room service!  
  
  
  
Ryou- *sighs* Bakura, just stay quiet.  
  
  
  
Bakura- It's not my fault he repeats everything I say! He just loves me that much. Doesn't he?  
  
  
  
~A/N- from here forward, AibouAnnoyer2002 is gonna be A.A.2002- for short cuz it takes too long to type:-P~  
  
  
  
A.A.2002- Ryou's a pansy! Ryou's a pansy!  
  
  
  
Ryou- HEY! WHY IS IT SAYING THAT?  
  
  
  
Bakura-Wellll....he mighta heard me say some stuff in the car on the ride here...he occasionally says random sentences...but the good part about them is...HE NEVER LIES.  
  
  
  
Ryou- *steams* Get in the elevator.   
  
  
  
*~*~*BackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairportBackintheairport*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
After an hour of cleaning up the ketchup after the scream fest, the gang has finally fallen asleep. Besides Yugi. He is sitting bolt straight up, rocking back and forth.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *with shirt over his head, rocking* They're gonna get me...they're gonna get me...I'm gonna be PROBED!  
  
  
  
They, of course, are the aliens, which Yami TRIED convincing him weren't real for 2 hours before he fell asleep from exaustion. This alien theory came about shortly after the sugar high. Sugar makes everyone do weird things.   
  
  
  
Suddenly, the sun started to rise, and everyone slowly woke up as people filed into the airport's opening doors.  
  
  
  
Yugi-THEY'LL PROBE ME, I TELL YOU!  
  
  
  
People walking in- *stop, stare, keep moving*  
  
  
  
Yami- *yawning* Nooo....it can't be morning already..........  
  
  
  
Tea- Ugh. Turn off the lights! Can't you see people are trying to sleep on the floor?  
  
  
  
Tristan- *snores like a foghorn*  
  
  
  
Joey- *dreaming* KAIBA, WALK ME LIKE THE DOG I AM! *rolls over smiling*   
  
  
  
Everyone awake- *sweatdrops times infinity*  
  
  
  
Yami- That's...that's...*shudders* MORE than disturbing.  
  
  
  
Tea- Definately. But listen, we gotta wake everyone up and get on the plane. There's no way I'm missing a SECOND one.   
  
  
  
It was in fact, 7:00.  
  
  
  
Yami-Jooooeyyyyyyy....Tristtaaaannnn....*leans closer to their sleeping faces* ICECREAM MAN!  
  
  
  
Joey + Tristan- *bolt straight up* WHERE?!?  
  
  
  
Yami- *grins* I knew that would work. Now for Malik and his Yami. *leans towards Malik, who is snuggled up cutely under a blanket, sucking his thumb* *in singsong voice* Oh my little Egyptian prince, guess what I see? A HUGE, GIGANTIC, ATOMIC WEDGIE!  
  
  
  
Malik- *jumps up in cold sweat* *looks around frowning* Don't even JOKE!  
  
  
  
Yami- *cackles, then* Wake up your Yami. We gotta board the plane, it takes off at 7:30. *moves over to Yugi* Aibou, we gotta board the plane. Aibou? YUGI? *sighs, places a hand on his shoulder and smiles lovingly* Come on, aibou, if you don't stand up and board the plane with me, then the aliens will eat your brain.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Eat, my brain?   
  
  
  
Yami- Yup, every last braincell.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *lip trembles* Help me Yami!  
  
  
  
Yami- I will, but only if you board the plane. Then you can sit on my lap all the way to Hawaii and I'll keep you safe.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Okay! ^_^  
  
  
  
Tea- Awww, how kawaii!   
  
  
  
Yami- HEY! I thought you liked me?  
  
  
  
Tea- I do, but Yugi is just so innocent!  
  
  
  
Yami- Oh really? Well, you haven't seen his magazines. Or his box of videos. OR his pictures of YOU.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *snapping out of his stupor for a second* YAMI! HOW COULD YOU?  
  
  
  
Yami- Umm, I meant, his pictures of Britney Spears! Yeah, that good ole' pepsi lovin' Britney! *laughs fakely*  
  
  
  
Yugi- *cries*   
  
  
  
Tea- AWWW, poor thing! Yugi, don't worry. I won't act ANY differently towards you.   
  
  
  
Yugi-*sniffles* Y-you won't?  
  
  
  
Tea- Nope. Don't worry. Now let's get on the plane.  
  
  
  
  
  
Yugi- *shoots dagger glances at Yami*  
  
  
  
Yami- *shoots dagger glances back*  
  
  
  
Joey- Where's the icecream man?  
  
  
  
******  
*10 Minutes later, at the metal detector*  
  
  
  
Security- Sir, you can't bring that on the plane.  
  
  
  
Malik- But WHY? *holds up rod*   
  
  
  
Security- It's a metal object that could be used as a weapon.  
  
  
  
Malik- PLEASE?   
  
  
  
Security- You can't.  
  
  
  
Malik- But all I ever do with it is take over people's bodies! Nothing SERIOUS.  
  
  
  
Security- Well in that case, go ahead.  
  
  
  
Malik- Thanks! ^_^  
  
**  
  
  
On the plane, which happens to be the same plane that Ryou and Bakura flew on earlier:-)  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- I call window seat!  
  
  
  
Yami- No! I want the window seat! I'm older!  
  
  
  
The group has split into pairs, Tea sitting next to Yugi, Joey next to Tristan and Yami Malik next to Yami. Malik is smooshed between a very old grandmother who is incessantly pinching his cheeks and calling him "as cute as a kitten" and her friend who can't remember anything that happened 3 minutes ago.   
  
  
  
Malik-Why MEEEE?  
  
  
  
Yami-GIVE ME THE SEAT!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- You can't order me around! You're not Pharaoh anymo-  
  
  
  
Flight Attendent- *taps Yami's shoulder* Sir? Sir, you are gonna have to come with me.  
  
  
  
Yami- Why? I didn't do anything!  
  
  
  
Flight Attendent- We recently had a very...um..interesting passenger and we've been told to put anyone who has extremely large, oddly colored hair into custody in the back of the plane.   
  
  
  
Yami-WHAT? That is pure idiocy!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- Watch out, big word!   
  
  
  
Yami- They're discriminating against people with big hair! I'm sueing!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- More big words! My brain hurts!  
  
  
  
Flight Attendent- Come with me, sir. *takes Yami by the arm and leads him away*  
  
  
  
Yami- Help you stupid dark Malik!!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- Nope.  
  
  
  
Yami- Why!?  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- You NEVER come between a man and his window seat.  
  
  
  
Yami- *sobs as he's dragged to the cargo area*  
  
  
  
Yugi- Hehehehe.  
  
  
  
Tea- Yugi, I'm surprised YOU weren't dragged off.  
  
  
  
Yugi- I'm too short. They wouldn't notice me. Do you know I haven't had a growth spurt in 15 years?  
  
  
  
Tea- Really?  
  
  
  
Yugi-Yup! My doctor said I was like a chihuaha. I'm born one size, and I never grow.   
  
  
  
Tea- That explains why you bark in you're sleep.  
  
  
  
Yugi- I do not bark! Wait, how do you know I bark?  
  
  
  
Tea- Umm..*blushes* I watched you sleep.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Why?  
  
  
  
Tea- I...*waits and then suddenly leans closer and kisses him quickly on the lips*  
  
  
  
Yugi- *wide eyes* Whoah. That was unexpected. But...great.   
  
  
  
Tea- *smiles*  
  
  
  
Joey- *who just saw everything* YUGI AND TEA, SITTIN ON A PLANE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...*turns to look out the window* Hey, is that China?  
  
  
  
Tristan- What are you talking about? That can't be China.  
  
  
  
Joey- Why?  
  
  
  
Tristan- Everyone knows that China is an island. That is CLEARLY a landmass.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *rolls eyes* Let's keep this our little secret, Tea. Only Joey saw us and he just forgot.   
  
  
  
Tea- Deal. *smiles*  
****  
  
That's it! Get ready for some adventure next chapter, when Yami and Yami Bakura learn to swim! And what will happen with the Yugi/Yami/Tea love triangle!? Stay tuned! R&R:-)  
Ja! 


	10. Where the Volcano Blows

It's finally here! Chapter 10! This chapter was a really fun one to write, and it's long, so I hope it's just as much fun to read! I am SO SORRY for the month-long wait...but now that soccer is over, I have 3 extra hours to write before I do 3 hours of mind-crippling homework! Yay! Anyway...some of the writing style was different in this one...there is a lot more paragraph descriptions. So read, review and enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer-*tosses penny in fountain* Maybe if I wish hard enough, the fountain will grant my wish! I'll own Yu-gi-oh!  
  
Yugioh cast- *bulldozes fountain*   
  
Me- Thanks guys. I love you too.  
  
*!*!*!*!*!*  
Back to the Adventures of Everyone but Bakura and Ryou:-P  
  
The plane was FINALLY landing. Tea and Yugi had fought the urge to hold hands the whole plane ride. Joey and Tristan had commenced fighting about whether China was an island or not and Malik had moved up to sit next to his Yami after Yami Yugi was dragged off due to having "big hair."  
  
  
After the group dragged their suitcases off the plane and gaped in wonder at the palm-tree-riddled area around them, they went to find Yami.  
  
  
  
Tea- You don't think they put him in the cargo hold with the animals, do you?  
  
  
  
Yugi-*in a very happy mood* YuP!  
  
  
  
Just then, Yami Yugi stumbles out of the open door of the plane, COVERED in dog hair.  
  
  
  
Joey-Ahh! Werewolf!  
  
  
  
Yami- *not amused* I am NOT a werewolf. If I was a werewolf then I would be allergic to myself. I just recently discovered my allergies towards dogs. How can a *spirit* get *allergies!* *sneezes* Honestly! This fur is going to be my downfall.   
  
  
  
Joey-I can see it now- *Makes "headline" with his hands* "Pharaoh Who Lives 5000 Years Dies Due to Freak Dog Hair Incident." How ironic.  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- *snickers* How glorified. Wait, did Joey just say "ironic?"  
  
  
  
Tea- I didn't think that Joey knew any words that consisted of more than 5 letters.  
  
  
  
Tristan- Yeah, all the essentials are five letters anyway. Pizza, Sleep, Girls.  
  
  
  
Yami- *growls* Is there anywhere that I can buy new clothes?  
  
  
  
Malik-Well, they may have a mall nearby. Or a little airport shoppe. Let's go look. Maybe they have leather!  
  
  
  
Yami- LEATHER!? WOO HOO!  
  
  
  
Yugi- No! His leather fetish! You've reminded him!  
  
  
  
Yami- Thank god he has! Leather puts everything in perspective! Thank god for cows! The makers of leather!  
  
  
  
  
  
Joey- And the makers of hamburgers! *slaps Yami high 5*  
  
  
  
Soon after, the gang enters the airport to retrieve their bags. Yami is *still* covered in dog hair and goes off with Malik to try on clothes at a "shoppe." Yami Malik is with Tea and Yugi, and Tristan and Joey are amusing themselves with the escalators.  
  
  
  
*With Malik and Yami*  
  
  
  
Yami-*emerges from dressing room in a bluish suit* How about...this? *flaunts in front of Malik*  
  
  
  
Malik-Sexy! Kinda...  
  
  
  
Yami- *scowls* Hold on, I have one more. *goes in, rustling sounds are heard, along with a few sounds of extreme exersion* ~~yes that sounds bad, no I don't care  
*comes out of dressing room wearing a VERY good looking, black, leather outfit with so many buckles that it looks like it used up the world's source of metal*  
Well?  
  
  
  
Malik-*gapes* Wow! I never knew a guy could pull off leather that well.  
  
  
  
Yami-*smug* Well, I'm no *ORDINARY* guy.   
  
  
  
Malik-*laughs* I can see. No *ORDINARY* guy could get into something so tight, that quickly, without having intense physical pain to his no-no place.  
  
  
  
Yami-*if looks could kill, Malik would be 6 feet under* Get in line. And remember, when I have hot Hawaiian women groping me and you don't, don't come crying to me.  
  
**  
  
  
Soon, Malik and Yami rejoin the group. Ever since Yami came out of the store in his leather-womanizer outfit, Tea hasn't been able to pry her eyes away. Yugi is thoroughly jealous and has been purposely trying to trip Yami.  
  
  
  
Yami Malik-Wow Yami, interesting clothes.  
  
  
  
Tea- *drools* Nice out-outfit. It looks, yum-I mean, good!  
  
  
  
Yugi- *dagger glance to his dark* No it doesn't. It looks like the cow that made that leather was charcoaled beyond help.  
  
  
  
Yami-You're just jealous. *I* got the muscles and the daring good looks and you got the short end of the deal. Get it, Yugi? Short?  
  
  
  
Yugi-*steams* YOU'RE ONLY 3 INCHES TALLER!  
  
  
  
Yami- Three inches is still the difference between ME having a normal relationship with a girlfriend. They can actually kiss me at NORMAL height.  
  
  
  
Yugi- What girlfriend is *that?* INFLATEABLE SALLY?  
  
  
  
Yami- No...INFLATEABLE BEATRICE!  
  
  
  
All-*sweatdrop*  
  
  
  
Tea- Well, let's break it up boys. We gotta go get our "rent-a-car."  
  
  
  
Joey- I CALL SHOTGUN!  
  
  
  
Tristan- AHH! You have a gun?  
  
  
  
Joey- No, stupid. I call the front seat.  
  
  
  
Tristan- There's a gun in the front seat?  
  
  
  
Joey- Just shut up and keep walking. Not into that-  
  
  
  
Tristan- Ow.  
  
  
  
Joey- -pole.  
  
****  
  
  
About an hour later, the gang is in the hotel. They have piled into the elevator and are heading up to the 10'th floor, where Bakura and Ryou are waiting. Everyone is happy about seeing and talking to them again. Except Yami. He would rather be boiled alive in butterscotch pudding then talk to "that pompous and flatulant Tomb Robber."  
  
  
  
In the elevator...  
  
  
  
Malik-Who composes this stupid elevator music?   
  
  
  
Yami Malik- They should be shot.  
  
  
  
Tristan- *dancing to music w/ eyes closed* Lalalalalalalala....  
  
  
  
Joey- Will someone please shut up the dancing chicken?  
  
  
  
Tristan- I resent that remark! This is perfectly good music.  
  
  
  
*Suddenly, the door slides open. Bakura and Ryou stand right in front. Ryou is all smiles   
and Bakura is all scowls.*  
  
  
  
Ryou- WELCOME TO HAWAII!  
  
  
  
Bakura- -and don't forget to BURN IN HELL!  
  
  
  
Tea- Aww, I feel so loved.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Hi Bakura! Hi Ryou! Where do we put our stuff?  
  
  
  
Bakura- Over there. There are 4 rooms. I guess every Yami is with his Hikari, and Tea, Joey and Tristan all get stuck in a room together. *smirks*  
  
  
  
Tea- Great. I'm paired with Dumb and Dumber.  
  
  
  
Yami- At least you aren't paired with the midget.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *Millions of daggers*  
  
  
  
Bakura- So, Pharaoh. We meet again.  
  
  
  
Yami- *James Bond Music Plays* Yes. I suppose we do.  
  
  
  
*More James Bond Music*  
  
  
  
Bakura- Where's that music coming from?  
  
  
  
Yami- Who cares. It's cool. *dances*  
  
  
  
Yami Malik-Let's go check out the rooms.   
  
  
  
*Each group walks off together to their assigned rooms*  
  
  
  
*Each group emerges*  
  
  
  
Tristan- Our room is peach colored!  
  
  
  
Yugi-Ours too!  
  
  
  
Malik-Ours too!!   
  
  
  
Ryou- What a coinkidink.  
  
  
  
Yami, Yami Malik, Yami Bakura- THEY'RE ALL PEACH COLORED!  
  
**  
  
  
Two hours later, after dinner, the gang has assembled in the hallway. All of them are a bit tired due to the time difference but the Hikaris have an idea.  
  
  
  
Yugi- *calls a group huddle, excluding the Yamis* Psshpshshsh....  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- I can't make out what they are saying!  
  
  
  
Yami Yugi- All I can make out are the letters P-O-O-L.  
  
  
  
Bakura- That spells POOL you idiot Pharaoh! Geez, weren't you rich enough for a tutor in your days?  
  
  
  
Yami Yugi- I DID have a tutor, I just lost my memories. And at least I got rich the *correct* way, not by STEALING money.  
  
  
  
Bakura- That *IS* the correct way!  
  
  
  
Yami-*rolls eyes* Anyway, what does it mean if they say "pool?"  
  
  
  
Yugi- WE'RE GOING SWIMMING! EVERYONE GET YOUR SWIM TRUNKS!  
  
  
  
Yamis in unison- SWIMMING?  
  
  
  
Tea- Yeah, what's the problem?  
  
  
  
Yamis in unison- WE'RE FROM EGYPT.  
  
  
  
Tristan- So?  
  
  
  
Tea- Oh, *stifling laughter* don't tell me....YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!?  
  
  
  
Joey- *cracks up*   
  
  
  
Yamis in unison- *growl*   
  
  
  
Yugi- That's ok, we can teach you!  
  
  
  
Yami- *crosses arms* No, that's okay Yugi. I can just use you as a flotation device. I don't need to learn how to swim.  
  
  
  
Yugi-Well, *sarcastically* AIBOU, you're full enough of hot air to float ANYWAY!  
  
  
  
Yami- *growls like a rabid pitbull*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *high five's Yugi* Kid, you're off my hitlist. Be proud.  
  
  
  
Tea- Alright guys, stop fighting. I don't like to sound like the sour Sally here, but-  
  
  
  
All- YOU ARE!  
  
  
  
Tea- *whimpers* Well, if that's how you feel, then I'll just shut up.  
  
  
  
Malik- THE DAY HAS COME! DON'T YOU LOVE THE SILENCE!? IT'S FREE OF ANNOYING FRIENDSHIP RANTS! YES!  
  
  
  
Tea- *falls on the ground, crying*  
  
  
  
Tristan- DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!   
  
  
  
Tea- *cries harder*  
  
  
  
Joey- *laughs harder*  
  
  
  
Yami- Guys, stop harrassing the witch.   
  
  
  
Tea- *runs into room*  
  
  
  
Malik- ANYWAY, it's pool time!  
  
  
  
Yamis- NoOo!  
  
  
  
Hikaris- YeSsS! *drag each Yami into their rooms and dress them in spare bathing suits*  
  
AtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepoolAtthepool  
  
  
  
The hikaris and their yamis have made their way to the indoor pool, in a room which is surprisingly full of little children, all running around. The kids are carrying swimmies and floaties...and oddly enough, so are the Yamis. Joey, Tristan and Tea are all in their rooms, making amends and watching t.v.   
  
  
Yami Yugi is wearing a black bathing suit which many of the woman are drooling over, Bakura is wearing a blue one which doesn't look half bad...and Yami Malik didn't get so lucky. He has wrapped himself in a towel and refuses to take it off, due to the fact that he is wearing a purple speedo. According to Malik, it was his "only other bathing suit, so deal."   
  
  
  
Now, the Hikaris are trying to get their Yami's to actually *get in* the pool.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Move! You're at the shallow end! You won't drown!  
  
  
  
Yami-I have never swum in my life! For my first years, I was a Pharaoh who never stepped anywhere near water which was deeper than my bath, and for the past years, I have been imprisoned in a puzzle! There is no way I'm going in.  
  
  
  
Yugi-Oh yes there is. *shoves him in*   
  
  
  
Yami-IT'S COLD!!!  
  
  
  
Yugi- Be quiet you big baby. It's 80 degrees.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *dips toe in* It IS cold...  
  
  
  
Ryou- Just think positive...and you will swim. Who cares about the temperature! Ready? Just step to the edge and repeat after me. IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan...  
  
  
  
Bakura- *closes eyes, walks to edge* IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan...  
  
  
  
Ryou-*pushes him in*  
  
  
  
Bakura-AHHH! I THINK I CAN'T! GET ME OUT! THERE ARE BARRACUDAS BITING ME!  
  
  
  
Ryou- There are no barracudas in heated pools!!!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Well, IN THIS ONE THERE ARE!  
  
  
  
Yami- Yugi! Help! I'm drowning!  
  
  
  
Yugi- No you aren't, just kick your feet! Move your arms!  
  
  
  
Yami- *starts kicking and accidentally kicks Bakura*  
  
  
  
Bakura- IDIOT PHARAOH! WHY'D YOU KICK ME?  
  
  
  
Yami-I didn't you overly-pompous blue whale!  
  
  
  
Bakura- YES YOU DID! DON'T DENY IT!  
  
  
  
Yami-I DIDN'T KICK YOU BEFORE BUT NOW I WILL! *starts kicking him, which is   
taking a very long time, due to the fact that water slows down movement*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *starts kicking him back* I HOPE YOU DROWN!  
  
  
  
Yami-OH DON'T WORRY, I WILL!  
  
  
  
By now, the children are staring in awe at the two, who have steadily been moving backwards into the deep end. Soon, they are both treading water without knowing it, kicking eachother with all their might.  
  
  
  
Yami- DIEEEE!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- *from the side* THAT'S *MY* LINE!  
  
  
  
Yami- BITE ME! *kicks Bakura again*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *between kicks* Stupid...over...rated...archaic...decrepit...grannylike...Pharaoh!  
  
  
  
Yami-NEVER INSULT MY GRANNY! *lunges at him like a dolphin and they both go underwater*  
  
  
  
Ryou-*turns to Yugi* We gotta help them!  
  
  
  
Yugi- Nah...they'll be okay.   
  
  
  
Malik & Yami Malik-THEY'RE SWIMMING!  
  
  
  
Yugi-Wow! They are! And without these! *throws yellow, polka-dotted floaties over his head*  
  
  
  
Ryou- HEY YOU TWO! YOU'RE SWIMMING!  
  
  
  
Yami and Bakura- *come up for air, stop fighting* We are?  
  
  
  
Ryou- Look down!  
  
  
  
Yami and Bakura- *look down* AHHHH! IT'S DEEP! 10 FEET! *start drowning*  
  
  
  
Ryou- *smacks forehead* Yugi, sometimes I wonder if we're the only sane ones.  
  
  
  
Yugi- I don't *wonder.* I *know.*  
  
  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~  
  
  
AtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnightAtnight  
  
  
  
  
After swimming, the hikaris and their yamis all went back to their assigned PEACH COLORED rooms and tried to relax after the stressful day. Bakura and Yami had nearly died in the pool and Malik had nearly died laughing. His Yami never successfully removed the towel.   
  
  
  
In one room, Ryou was watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and Bakura was harrassing room service. The Yami was constantly calling and then complaining when they got there, telling them that something wasn't right about the food. This resulted in the waiters having to go back and fix it. He thought this was particularly amusing, considering the fact that they were on the 10'th floor and the kitchen was on the 1'st.  
  
  
*For all of you who thought or wished that I had forgotten about AA2002, I didn't*   
  
  
In other news, the reason that Ryou was free to watch "Buffy" without a loud cawing in his ear, was because earlier that day, he had successfully managed to lock AA2002 in a closet. Now and then, "Ryou's a pansy!" could be heard from inside.   
  
  
  
The way this was accomplished involved Ryou reluctantly promising Bakura that he *could* harrass roomservice, if and only if Bakura commanded the annoying bird to go into the closet. The bird listened, after Bakura bribed it by showing it a mop which looked much like Ryou's hair. This mop was now the property of the bird, and anyone who approached it was ripped at with as much ferocity as a bird can muster.   
  
  
  
In Malik and Yami Malik's room, Malik was fooling around with the jets in the tub/jacuzzi and Yami Malik was trying to make his mattress softer by beating it repeatedly with the Millenium Rod. This only resulted in a lot of feathers coming out and the mattress becoming considerably holey. (like a macaroni drainer)  
  
  
  
Not all was "peaceful," though.Yami Yugi had sworn revenge on Yugi for ever making him swim. He was currently coating the inside of their bathtub with petroleum jelly, so that as soon as Yugi stepped in the tub, he would slip and fall. Yugi was scrubbing the entire floor with Yami's toothbrush. This way, they would both be in for a surprise when they got ready for bed.  
  
  
  
  
On a lighter note, Tea, Tristan and Joey were watching t.v. in their room. Tea had threatened them earlier, so right now, all three were getting along. She was no longer the wicked witch, but rather, the "Royal Princess." Basically, if they called her anything different, she would tell the gang about the time they got drunk and kissed eachother (not on the cheek). She didn't forget to point out that if she released this prized information, Bakura would not stop haunting or laughing at them for another 5000 years.  
  
  
  
  
But this was not on Tea's mind right now. The "Royal Princess" had a secret date with Yugi. They were going to meet outside of the hotel when their roommates had fallen asleep and walk around town. Tea was looking forward to this.  
Finally, the time came.  
  
  
  
Tea-*checks to see that Joey and Tristan are sleeping* Good. Quiet and peaceful, just like little babies. Well, maybe not quiet. No wonder Tristan likes foghorns so much...he sure SNORES like one... *walks outside*  
  
  
  
Yugi emerges from his room, closing the door softly behind him.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Tea! I'm so glad my Yami finally fell asleep. After he washed his mouth out with ammonia, of course. Did he tell you that I scrubbed the entire floor with his toothbrush?  
  
  
  
Tea-No, he failed to leave that out.  
  
  
  
Yugi-Oh. Well he did. I *STILL* can't believe he didn't pull a prank on *me.* Must be losing his touch.  
  
  
  
Tea-*mumbles* Hehe...when I kissed him, he hadn't lost his "touch..."  
  
  
  
Yugi-What was that?  
  
  
  
Tea- Oh! I was just saying that when I dissed Kim, I thought that she was Dutch!  
  
  
  
Yugi-Riiighhtt...   
  
  
  
Tea-Let's go outside, shall we?  
  
  
  
Yugi-*smiles* Alright! Are we gonna makeout?  
  
  
  
Tea- Only if you behave.  
  
  
  
Yugi-I'm behaving! I'm behaving!  
  
  
  
Tea- Don't push it.  
  
***  
  
  
A few hours (and a few makeout sessions) later, Tea and Yugi were back outside the rooms.   
  
  
  
Tea- I had a fun night.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Me too. Especially when we pushed those little children off the boardwalk!  
  
  
  
Tea- That was *you.*   
  
  
  
Yugi-Oh yeah, I forgot!  
  
  
  
Tea- *sighs* I think Bakura is corrupting you. Are you spending too much time with him?  
  
  
  
Yugi- Define- "too much."  
  
  
  
Tea- More than a minute?  
  
  
  
Yugi- *shuffles feet* Mayyybee....*grins*  
  
  
  
Tea- *sighs again* Well, goodnight!   
  
  
  
*They kiss*  
  
  
  
The two walk back into their rooms. That night, the last sound heard was a loud "Eek!" as Yugi fell face first in the shower.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
The next day, the entire gang decided to go to one of Hawaii's beautiful beaches. They all wore the same bathing suits, except Yami Malik. He refused to change *at all.* The sun was shining and the water was warm and Yugi set up the towels under a big palm tree. Tea sat next to him, but not too close-so as not to arouse suspicion. Joey and Tristan were busy staring at all of the hot girls who walked by, whose bathing suits would have had trouble covering a microscopic organism.   
  
  
As of now, Yugi was down by the water, checking the temperature. Malik and Ryou were hunting for crabs in the surf and Bakura and Yami Malik were working on their tans. Much to Bakura's dismay, his pale skin didn't adopt an "orange" color, but rather a "lobster red." Yami Malik couldn't get much darker without turning completely black.   
  
  
This left Tea and Yami, who were sitting near eachother under the shade of the palm tree. Tea was "reading" a magazine, while "glancing" (Synonyms: Drooling, Gawking, Staring) at Yami out of the corners of her eyes. Suddenly...  
  
  
  
Yami- So Tea...  
  
  
  
Tea- *jumps* Yes?  
  
  
  
Yami- Nice weather, huh?  
  
  
  
Tea- Yes. Very...hott.  
  
  
  
Yami-Hot?  
  
  
  
Tea- Yes.   
  
  
  
Yami-Hot?  
  
  
  
Tea- Yah, you know, like coffee and fire and stuff?  
  
  
  
Yami-Duh, I'm not stupid you know.  
  
  
  
Tea-*rolls eyes* So, you look...nice...today..  
  
  
  
Yami- Really? Thanks! I thought this bathing suit made my butt look big.  
  
  
  
Tea- No, the opposite actually!   
  
  
  
Yami- Oh ok. I've been cutting back on the fats, you know.   
  
  
  
Tea- *smiles* It looks it. *gets closer*  
  
  
  
Yami- Uh..  
  
  
  
*closer*  
  
  
  
*closer...*  
  
  
  
Tea-*leans forward and kisses him*   
  
  
  
Yami- Heheh. *smiles devilishly, not knowing that Tea and Yugi had something going on...* I knew you still liked me.  
  
  
  
Just then, Yugi comes running up the beach. Of course, he is completely clueless that Tea just kissed his darker half.   
  
  
  
Yugi-Hey guys! The water's warm! Come on in!  
  
  
  
Tea shoots one last glance at Yami, before running after his hikari. Yami follows eagerly. Soon, the whole gang is swimming about. Everything is going wonderfully.  
  
  
  
Bakura- Hey Pharaoh! I bet I can swim further than you!  
  
  
  
Yami-Oh please. I was trained in finesse and endurance-  
  
  
  
Bakura- LESS CRAP, MORE SWIMMING!  
  
  
  
The two race out over the waves, completely oblivious to the giant riptide which is  
slowing making it's way in.  
  
  
Yami- Uhh, Tomb Robber? Do you feel that...pulling sensation?  
  
  
  
Bakura- Are you coming on to me?  
  
  
  
Yami- EWW! No! Seriously though...  
  
  
  
Bakura- *swallowing water* It's getting deeper...  
  
  
  
Yami-We're getting further out...further...further...further...  
  
  
  
Bakura- RIPTIDE!   
  
  
  
Soon, the two are pulled far away from the shore, the waves falling over their heads as they are dragged.  
  
  
  
**  
  
  
Thirty minutes later...  
  
  
  
Yugi-Hey guys, where are Yami and Bakura?  
  
  
  
**  
Miles away on a deserted island...  
  
  
  
Yami- *wakes up on beach, spits out sand* What-the-  
  
  
  
Bakura- *looks over at Yami, stares out around him at the endless stretches of ocean...* I think we are on an island...  
  
  
  
Yami-A deserted one...  
  
  
  
Bakura- Together...  
  
  
  
Yami & Bakura- *look at eachother* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
*~~*~~*~~*  
STRANDED! Haha, it's like "Castaway," minus the talking volleyball.   
  
  
  
Yami-YOU...  
  
  
  
Me- ME...  
  
  
  
Yami- LEFT ME WITH...WITH...THAT FILTHY EXCUSE FOR A THIEF! ALONE! ON AN ISLAND! MAY ALL THE SUGAR IN THE WORLD MELT AWAY, SO THAT YOU MAY NEVER WRITE ON A SUGAR HIGH AGAIN!   
  
  
  
Me-Muha.   
  
  
  
Yami-*goes insane*  
  
  
  
*~*~Anway, stay tuned for the next chapter...where chaos reigns wild. How will Bakura and Yami survive together on an island? How will Tea *the skank* keep her love affair with *both* Yami and Yugi secret? Stay tuned! 


	11. Spikey Situation

It's been two months- (sorry!) but here is chapter 11!!! Hopefully the funny-factor has stayed the same since the first chapter...I hope the quality of the jokes isn't slipping- hopefully everyone is still laughing out loud!! Anyway, I don't have any idea when this fic will be done, it doesn't really have a definate ending like my other fics so it could end in as many as 6 more chapters or as few as 3...don't know yet!!   
Btw, just as a side note, I was wondering who the reviewers thought the funniest character in this fic is, I'm just curious! So when you review (please review:-)) feel free to say who you think is funniest and I'll type out which character got the most votes next chapter! Thanks- enjoy!  
***  
-On the island w/ Yami and Bakura-  
  
  
Yami- *in shock after screaming* NOOOOOOOOOOOOO *for 30 minutes*  
Alright Bakura. We're stranded. No one knows if we're dead or alive.   
  
  
  
Bakura- So I could brutally murder you and then say that you drowned?! *beaming*  
  
  
  
Yami-*steams* Shut up. Who knows how long we're gonna be here. I'll have to plan to keep us alive.  
  
  
  
Bakura- Who do you think you are, Mr. I-have-a-spikey-head-so-I-know-how-to-survive-when-a-giant-riptide-takes-me-to-a-desert-island-with-my-arch-enemy? Just because your head looks like the top of a pineapple doesn't mean you have some mystical connection to islands! I can keep us alive too!  
  
  
  
Yami- *steams more* No you can't! Quiet, tomb robber! You're going to drive me insane by the end of this!  
  
  
  
Bakura- *looking into water by his feet* Are those the kind of fish that they put on pizzas?  
  
  
  
Yami- No! *sighs* And I thought *Joey* had a short attention span.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
Yugi- OHMIGOD! YAMI AND BAKURA ARE GONE!  
  
  
  
Joey-TOGETHER!  
  
  
  
Tea- It's probably better if they drown.  
  
  
  
Ryou- *sniffles* My Yami!!!   
  
  
  
Tristan- You actually care? Didn't he beat you?  
  
  
  
Ryou- No...he stopped after he went to some meetings.  
  
  
  
Tristan-Meetings?  
  
  
  
Ryou- Yeah. *sniffs* The AAA. Aibou Attackers Anonymous.  
  
  
  
All-Ohhhhhhh.  
  
  
  
Tea- Well Yugi, I guess it's just you and me now.  
  
  
  
Yugi- Wasn't it always you and me?  
  
  
  
Tea- Um- er...of course! You're my one and only! *smiles fakely*  
  
  
  
Yugi- *smiles* Good. *goes off to scare seagulls* Wheee!  
  
  
  
Malik- Something is very wrong with that child.  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- Very very. Ok guys, back to being serious. If you really insist on finding them, we need to tell the coast guard before they get eaten by numerous great white sharks or are thrown against jagged coral reefs or kill eachother in a fit of cannibal rage. *gets evil glint in his eyes*   
  
  
  
Malik- *looks uncertaintly at his Yami* Why does it scare me that he is the only Yami left with no other Yami's to keep him in check?  
  
  
  
Tea- Who cares! Let's go to the coastguard everybody! We don't have much time!  
  
  
  
*All follow*  
*All stop at icecream truck*  
*All keep following*  
  
  
  
*~*~  
Back on the island.....  
  
  
  
Yami- Okay Bakura. In order to survive we have to conserve and preserve all the fruit that   
we find.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *between bites of mango* Eh?  
  
  
  
Yami- Okay, plan B. I'm dividing the island in half. *draws line with toe* This half is mine, that half is yours. I don't care if you die. It'll save me the trouble of thinking of comebacks when you insult my hair. *pouts*  
  
  
  
Bakura- That's not fair!  
  
  
  
Yami-What's not fair?  
  
  
  
Bakura- You're island is better than mine!  
  
  
  
Yami- How!?  
  
  
  
Bakura- Your's has more coconuts!  
  
  
  
Yami-Oh please. Let's be civilized adults. It does not!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Does too!  
  
  
  
Yami-Does not!  
  
  
  
Bakura-Does too!  
  
  
  
Yami-Well yours has a hermit crab and mine doesn't!  
  
  
  
Bakura- I'll trade you my hermit crab for your coconuts.  
  
  
  
Yami-No!  
  
  
  
Bakura-Hehehehe.  
  
  
  
Yami-What are you laughing at now? I have the better island!!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Do you realized how dirty that sounded when I said "I'll trade you my hermit   
crab for your coconuts?"   
  
  
  
Yami- *frowns* I will not even humor that with a comment.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *giggles like a little girl* You probably don't even have any coconuts!!! *smiles insanely*  
  
  
Yami-*turns red in the face* Of course I do, what a horrible thing to suggest.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *runs around giggling* THE PHAROAH'S GOT NO COCONUTS, THE PHARAOH'S GOT NO COCONUTS!!!  
  
  
  
Yami- *stomps off* *A second later a shrill, girlie scream can be heard from the direction of the island that Yami just dissappeared to*  
  
  
  
Bakura- Pharaoh? Idiot!!!? What happened!? *looks at the line in the sand* *puts one toe over, pulls back, puts the toe over again, pulls back, finally jumps over the line* Whoo. The hardest part of my rescue is over. Now on to save the Pharaoh!  
  
**  
  
  
Tea- *after hours of explaining what the group has gone through to a very bored-looking coastguard* ...So you see, these two spirits, they got pulled away in a riptide and now they are gone...*sniffle* gone!! You've gotta help us.  
  
  
  
Coastguard- That is, the biggest load of DONKEY CRAP that I have ever heard.   
  
  
  
Joey- You can *hear* donkey crap?  
  
  
  
Tristan- No you idiot, you can only hear bull crap. Duh.  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- *rolls eyes* Would it we better if we just tried to find them on our own? We could rent a boat and go out looking for them. Chances are they'll be together and-DIE DIE! YOU ALL SHALL DIE! I AM GOING TO HIRE A BAND OF GIGANTIC KILLER PENGUINS TO SLASH YOU UNTIL YOU ARE AS SLASHED AS A LOT OF THE FICS ON FANFICTION.NET! DIE!  
  
  
Malik- Okay, well he had a good plan going until *that.* And what *is* fanfiction.net?   
  
  
  
Yugi- I heard it was some internet site which ate up the time of adults and children alike until their eyes are permanently stuck to the monitor and their fingers have been permenantly glued to the keyboard.   
  
  
  
All-Ohhh.  
  
  
  
Tea- So anyway, is that what we're gonna do? Are we gonna rent a boat? Cuz these looney toons sure aren't helping. *scowls at coastguard*  
  
  
  
Ryou- Yeah, let's rent a boat!!!   
  
  
  
At this point, everyone leaves the coastguards' place and wanders to the harbor where they sell Tristan for some extra cash and then buy a yacht.   
*as it's sailing away*  
  
  
  
Tristan-Guys? Umm...guys? GUYS!?   
**  
  
Bakura- *crashing through jungle* PHARAOH? PHARAOH!!!?? YOU CAN'T DIE NOW! YOU JUST CAN'T! *I'M* SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU, NOT SOME STUPID CREEPIE CRAWLIE ON AN ISLAND!!  
  
  
Suddenly, Bakura trips over a root and flies through the underbrush, landing on his stomach in the middle of a clearing. Looking up, he sees many painted Indian men and Yami Yugi, hanging from a stick with an apple in his mouth.  
  
  
  
Yami- Muff muffffmufffufuff!  
  
  
  
Bakura- What?  
  
  
  
Yami-MUFFUFMUFUFMFUFF!!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Ohhh. Alright, whoever you are, RELEASE THAT SPIKY THING FROM THE STICK! HE BELONGS TO ME. HE IS MY PERSONAL SLAVE.  
  
  
  
Yami-Mufmuffuff!!!!!  
  
  
  
Bakura- *Work* with me here, Pharaoh.   
  
  
  
Yami-Muff, muff...muff. :-(  
  
  
  
Indian Man- We...found....first.   
  
  
  
Bakura-No, as you can see, he is *clearly* mine. Just look at how scrawny and ugly he is! Only a horrible master like me would treat a slave so badly.  
  
  
  
Indian Man- Maybe so, but we hungry.  
  
  
  
Yami-MUFFFFF!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Well, you wouldn't get much meat off of those bones. What about...this? *picks up a pinecone off the ground*  
  
  
  
Indian Man- No. Those crunchy.   
  
  
  
Bakura- *scowls* Alright then, I guess I'll just have to-TAKE YOU OUT WITH MY SUPER PHOTON TORPEDO THAT I BROUGHT ALONG TO SAVE THE WORLD WITH! *reaches into pocket, only to draw out the hula girl that he stole from the hobo* WHAA!?  
  
  
  
Indian Man-IT IS HISHNISH!  
  
  
  
Bakura & Yami- Who/Muff?  
  
  
  
At this time, all of the island men drop to their knees, letting Yami hit the ground hard.   
(mufffff.)   
  
  
  
Indian Man #2- It is Hishnish! The magical god of swaying!   
  
  
  
Indian Man-Hishnish sacred. We give you spiky thing for Hishnish.  
  
  
  
Bakura- No! The spiky thing is bigger!  
  
  
  
Yami- MUFF,MUFF, MUFFF!!!!!!!!! \_/  
  
  
  
Indian Man- But Hishnish is more powerful!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Okay, okay, I'll give you my Hishnish for your spiky thing. *giggles like a girl*  
  
  
  
Indian Man- Deal. *takes apple out of Yami's mouth and unties him*  
  
  
  
Yami-THANK THE GODS!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Okay, Pharaoh, are you happy now!?  
  
  
  
Yami- *hugs Bakura* Never tell the others :-)  
  
  
  
Indian Man- You want come with us for magical Hishnish feast?  
  
  
  
Bakura & Yami- Hishnish feast?  
  
  
  
Bakura- *hits Yami over the head* NO TALKING, SLAVE!!  
  
  
  
Yami- *growls*   
  
  
  
**  
  
  
Joey- NEVER LET GO JACK!!! *holding onto banister at the front of boat* NEVER LET GO!!! ( this may not make sense unless you've seen Titanic...if you haven't then you are in the .00000000000000009% who are deprived of seeing Leonardo DiCaprio die )  
  
  
  
Tea- Stop fooling around and catch some rays!! *jumps around in tiny red bathing suit*  
  
  
  
Yugi-*drooling and singing* HEAVEN! I'M IN HEAVEN!   
  
  
  
Ryou- Hey guys, we're pretty far out on the water now, maybe we should look around?  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- *feeding Great White Sharks with little bits of sandwhich* In time, my pretties, the short hikari will be yours. MUHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
  
  
Malik- Stop being so evil back there, Yami.   
  
  
  
Ryou- Guys, I have something which is going to shock and astonish you.  
  
  
  
Joey-NO WAY, YOU'RE STRAIGHT!?  
  
  
  
Ryou- Very funny. Okay, I brought along something which may help us save Yami and Bakura. *pulls out AA2002* All I have to do is let him go and he will find dry land and   
Bakura! He loves Bakura!!  
  
  
  
Joey- Hehehe, it'll be like modern-day Noah's Arc. Except with a yacht.   
  
  
  
Tea- No, that's a stupid idea, Ryou.  
  
  
  
Ryou-AND I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE A BETTER ONE, MS. CLEAVAGE!?  
  
  
  
AA2002- SKANK! SKANK!  
  
  
  
Tea- *cries*  
  
  
  
Joey- Hehehehehehe. Okay, let'm fly!!!  
  
  
  
Ryou- *lets AA2002 out of his hands*   
  
  
  
AA2002- *starts flying away, the sunlight glinting off his feathers, the water making beautiful patterns on his underbelly, the rainbows arching over his head....CRUNCH.*  
  
  
  
Ryou-NOOOOO! *watches as Great White Shark munches hungrily on the bird*  
  
  
  
Joey- It's a shame, his last word was "skank."  
  
  
  
Ryou- *cries* You stupid Yami!!!! Now we'll never find them!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik- *cackling evilly*   
  
  
  
Malik- Say you're sorry, Yami, that wasn't nice. *waits a few seconds, then giggles*  
  
  
  
Ryou-That's it! I give up on you people!! *just as he says this, thunder rumbles in the   
distance*   
  
  
  
Joey-STORM!!!!  
  
  
  
Yugi- I'M TOO SHORT TO DIE!!!  
  
  
  
Yami Malik-AND I'M TOO EVIL!!!  
  
  
  
Tea- We have to get rid of some of the cargo so that we don't sink!!!  
  
  
  
*All point at Ryou*  
  
  
  
Ryou- Why me?  
  
  
**  
  
On the island, Yami and Bakura are sitting on stumps, sipping coconut juice and watching the Hishnish feast*  
  
  
  
Yami-*sips* Ahh, besides the fact that I'm stranded on an island with the person that I loath the most, this is the life.  
  
  
  
Bakura- *sips* Yeah. ^_^  
  
  
  
Yami- Well, we should probably be building a boat right now...we have to go back to civilization.  
  
  
  
Bakura- Civilization can wait.  
  
  
  
Yami- No, I kinda...um...miss Tea. *blushes*  
  
  
  
Bakura- *confused* Tea?  
  
  
  
Yami-Yeah! We...um...kissed. She...um....likes me and I like her....  
  
  
  
Bakura- Keep foolin' yerself.  
  
  
  
Yami-What?  
  
  
  
Bakura- We all know that she wants little Yugi. She made out with him on the pier!  
  
  
  
Yami-WHAT!?  
  
  
  
Bakura- You didn't know that?  
  
  
  
Yami-NO!  
  
  
  
Bakura- Ohhh...musta just been me then. I figured that either everyone knew or no one knew. Whenever it's 50/50, I always pick wrong! *shrugs* Oh well, at least you know.  
  
  
  
Yami- That...little...that...little................  
  
  
  
Bakura- Heh, heh. Oops.  
  
*******  
Now that Yami has uncovered Tea's little secret, what will he do? How will Ryou and the others manage to find the two stranded spirits? How will Tristan survive living on the dock by himself? Find out next chapter:-)   
-Ja! 


	12. Doggy Paddling

Don't really have much to say, a big sorry for not updating...if you want information about upcoming chapters or just want to prod me into hurrying up, my sn is xLook2theLef31x. I'd be happy to talk to you, and happy to take suggestions...maybe I'll even give a few plot hints out;) Okay on with the chapter.  
  
-----  
  
Indian Chief-Well, funny-looking strangers, the Hishnish feast over and now time for you to go back to big land over water where non-men wear very small things. We prepare boat for you. Is on the edge of the water. Leave when want.  
  
Bakura-Yes, I suppose we must. Although this feast was awfully good. At least before the Pharaoh went postal when he found out about Tea. Speaking of him...Pharaoh? PHARAOH!! Are you coming?!?! *after no answer, he looks around*  
  
*sees Yami trying in vain to hang himself with a vine on a tree in the distance* *sighs* Well thanks for your help. Maybe someday I'll bring you back pizza from the real world or something as thanks. It's about time you people ate something other than grubs.  
  
Indian Chief- You are very welcome, Pale-as-the-snow.   
  
Bakura-Hah-hah...very original name. *runs over to where Yami is as the chief disappears into the undergrowth*  
  
What are you doing? A woman is not worth any of this!   
  
Yami- It's worth it. All my life I've been hurt and there's no point in going on...*starts wrapping vine around neck*  
  
Bakura-Well, when you put it that way....BOO HOO. Give me that! Let's go. The nice Indian people set us up a dainty little boat.  
  
Yami-Did you just say "dainty?" Because that would give me another reason to kill myself.  
  
Bakura-Errrrrr.....come on. *yanks vine away and starts walking towards the boat, mumbling* Stupid royalty...always think that killing themselves will solve all the problems...well looky looky, he tried that once and got stuck in the puzzle...lousy, good for nothing- YOUCH!!!!!  
  
Yami-*reluctantly following when he sees Bakura shout* What is it? What happened?  
  
Bakura- *grumbling as he pulls something out of his bare foot (the shoes got lost somewhere)* This. I stepped on it. Don't they have an island clean up crew? Some shamed warriors who didn't kill a lion or something? They should be picking this mess up!  
  
Yami-That doesn't look like mess to me...*eyes widen as he realizes what it is*  
  
Bakura, his thief senses suddenly kicking in, realizes what he is holding in his hand. A dusty, blood red ruby, which he slowly cleans off with shaking fingers until it glimmers brightly in the sunshine.  
  
Bakura-A ruby....I STEPPED ON A RUBY! *goes dancing around* I'M GUNNA BE RICH! RICH I TELL YOU! RIIIIIICH! I'll get to buy a little dog, and laugh evilly and wipe out entire species! Finally, my evilness has some funding!  
  
Yami-Give me that! *lunges for the ruby*  
  
Bakura-OH NO YOU DON'T! *hides ruby in his shirt* Listen to me Pharaoh, I FOUND   
  
IT.  
  
Yami-Well at least let me see it.   
  
Bakura-You think I'm _that_ stupid? Okay wait, don't answer that. *sighs* Here, take it. But just for a second.  
  
Slowly, Bakura hands the ruby to Yami and the Pharaoh turns it over in his fingers. After the initial shock wears off, he shrugs and drops it in the sand.  
  
Yami-Meh. I had plenty of those when I was King.  
  
Bakura-WHHHHHATTTT!? You stupid, snobby little, grape-fed orangatang....this is worth a fortune! JUST LOOK AT IT! *holds the ruby to the sunlight*  
  
Before the two enemies could realize what was happening, a slight humming noise filled the air, and the sunshine, strong and hot on the island, shot through the prismed ruby. Two identical rays of light sped through the stone and dissapeared directly into Yami and Bakura.  
  
Bakura- What the? Why do I suddenly feel......feel....*faints*  
  
Yami-Ba-ba-(black sheep? okay sry that was just the authoress being a goof) Bakura? Ba-kura...I don't feel....*faints*  
  
--------  
  
The island was cool and quiet by the time Yami awoke. The birds had stopped whistling noisily in the trees and the hot afternoon sun was receding slowly, making way for the night. The boat which the Indians had prepared still floated silently on the ocean, tethered to the beach by a stone. Finally realizing where he was, Yami stood up slowly.   
  
Yami- Bakura? Bakura......*turns around* Baku-EEEEEEEK!!!!!!  
  
Instead of Bakura, a giant dragon lay in the sand where the tomb robber was before, snoozing soundly. The last rays of the sun were glinting brightly off it's golden scales and it was continuously snoring. (like a foghorn=P)   
  
The Pharaoh, now completely bewildered and afraid that he would become lunch meat, turned around and ran as fast and long as he could across the beach. Only when he could run no more did he fall to his knees by the waters edge, a good distance put between him and this new terror. Panting heavily, he leaned over the water with his eyes closed, ready to soak himself to cool off. But as soon as he opened them, he stumbled backwards, shouting again.  
  
Yami-WHAT IN THE HELL?!?!?!?!   
  
Looking down at his hands, he suddenly realized that they weren't hands. In fact, they were paws. White paws with long yellow nails and pinkish pads on the bottom.   
  
Thinking that he was halucinating, he shot back to the waters edge for another look. Instead of being met by his usual face, he saw instead the reflection of a slender wolf, completely white and menacing. The only thing that slightly resembled the old Pharaoh were the wolf's stunning amythest eyes.  
  
Surely this was some magic. Some trick. Yami wasn't a wolf. And Yami had just talked! How was it that a wolf could talk?   
  
Yami-Think Yami, think....you just woke up on the island, when you should be in the boat. What were you doing before...before...AH! THE RUBY!  
  
A thought finally dawned on Yami/wolf as he recollected his thoughts. The ruby. The last thing he and Bakura had done before falling asleep was to look at the ruby.   
  
Maybe...just maybe, it had done this? Or maybe it was the Indians...  
  
Still in disbelief, but knowing that he needed help, Yami ran back in the direction of the dragon. Somehow, in the back of his mind, he knew it must be Bakura.  
  
---  
  
The Pharaoh was finally back to the spot where he had awoken. And the dragon still lay snoring in the sand. Gulping down his fear, he searched the dragon once over with his eyes. Was it Bakura? Please let it be Bakura...  
  
His heart lept when he saw the ruby clutched tightly in a steely wing of the golden beast. With all the courage he could muster, Yami walked forward and spoke.  
  
Yami/Wolf-Bakura? Bakkuuuurrraaaaaaaa.....wake up...I know it's you...  
  
Dragon-*snore*  
  
Yami/Wolf-GET UP, YOU STUPID OVER-GROWN GECKO!!!  
  
Dragon-Wha? what? Who...?  
  
Yami/Wolf-Psshhh. The only things he responds to now-a-days are insults. GET, UP!  
  
Dragon-AHHHHH!!!!! WOLF!!!!! YAMI, HELP!!!!!!!! *looks around* Yami?  
  
Yami/Wolf-*content little smile* Yami's not here right now. Just me. Is your name Bakura?  
  
Bakura/Dragon-Yes....  
  
Yami/Wolf- You know, you shouldn't "cry wolf" when there really isn't one. Someday, a real one might just come gobble you up and no one will believe you.  
  
Bakura/Dragon-......WHY ARE YOU TALKING!? STUPID DOG! I never liked talking dogs!! NOT EVEN CLIFFORD! And he was red! And big! And you're just little and stupid and...and...mommmmyyyyyyy....*starts to sob* This better be a dream...  
  
Yami/Wolf-*grin gets bigger* A dragon really shouldn't cry. It's bad for your image.  
  
Bakura/Dragon-Dragon? *looks at hands...or wings* HOLY SHIT!  
  
Yami/Wolf- Can I call you Puff? *starts singing Puff the Magic Dragon*  
  
Bakura/Dragon-But...I'M HUMAN!   
  
Yami/Wolf- Wow. Weird looking human. Did you by any chance wander into some toxic waste?  
  
Bakura/Dragon-WHO ARE YOU!? AND HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME!? Wait...*looks at ruby in hand* *looks at the wolf in front of him and the wolf's eyes* *looks back at ruby and then at his wing* No....way.  
  
Yami/Wolf-Wow, that was quick. Took me a trip half way around the beach to figure it out. So we aren't hallucinating.  
  
Bakura/Dragon- You're the Pharaoh?   
  
Yami/Wolf- Yep. And you're Bakura. The dragon.  
  
Bakura/Dragon-Prove it. Prove that you're the Pharaoh.   
  
Yami/Wolf- *sighs* Fine, ask me a question.  
  
Bakura/Dragon- Who is the coolest tomb robber, ever?  
  
Yami/Wolf- I refuse to dignify that with an answer. What is so cool about a person who robs dead people?  
  
Bakura/Dragon-*scowls* Fine. It's Yami. It's you. Only you would be so petty.  
  
Yami/Wolf- Petty!? *growls*  
  
Bakura/Dragon- You know, you kinda look like Silver Fang.  
  
Yami/Wolf- *stops growling* Huh? Like from the cards?  
  
Bakura/Dragon-Definately.   
  
Yami/Wolf- Come to speak of it, you kind of look like Curse of Dragon.  
  
Bakura/Dragon-Hmmm...interesting. *thinks deeply for a second, then starts laughing hysterically* HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA THE GODS TURNED ME INTO A DRAGON, AND YOU'RE JUST A MUTT! YOU GET TO DRINK OUT OF TOILET BOWLS, AND I GET TO BURN VILLAGES!!!!!  
  
Yami/Wolf- *steams* THAT would be a dog. Wolves don't drink from toilet bowls. And if there really are gods, they would smite you down before you actually learn how to use your firepower. Gods, who would EVER give HIM firepower!?  
  
Bakura/Dragon-MUAHHAHA!*continues laughing hysterically*  
  
Yami/Wolf- I'm glad you're amused, but I'd prefer to be human again. Where is the ruby?   
  
Bakura/Dragon-*between spazms of laughter* Here...fetch. *tee hee*  
  
Yami/Wolf- *takes it in his mouth and spits it in the sand* Maybe it said something on it. We never got a chance to look it over before you held it up to the sun.   
  
Bakura/Dragon- DOG-GONIT! I SHOULDA CHECKED IT. Hahah get it? "DOG"GONIT!!? BA-HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! *continues choking with laughter*   
  
Yami/Wolf- *scowls even more as he looks the ruby over* Hey! Look....   
  
Barely chiseled into the ruby was a small passage of tiny lettering, and the two creatures read it carefully in the fading light.  
  
-If the greedy wish to take this stone  
  
The greedy shall dearly pay;  
  
For a curse was set apon this stone  
  
One cold and fateful day.  
  
If the rays of sun do shine right through,  
  
The curse will soon take hold  
  
And the thief shall soon be turned into  
  
A duel monster...meek or bold.  
  
To set it right the thief must do  
  
An extrordinary thing,   
  
They must find an offer for the Gods  
  
And into the volcano, they must fling.   
  
The tricky part is what's in store  
  
For it can't be a calf  
  
In fact if you wish to turn right back  
  
It has to be your other half.  
  
Bakura-Hmm. Interesting. *after a second* Alright, where's Ryou?  
  
Yami-ARE YOU CRAZY!?  
  
Bakura-Whoah Lassie, down boy!!!!   
  
Yami-*growls* I am _not_ throwing my aibou into a volcano.  
  
Bakura-And why not? All they do is eat and sleep anyway. Like Garfield! Only minus the orange-ness and the stripes and being a cat and all.  
  
Yami-I'm going to bite you if you don't shut up!! No is no!  
  
Bakura- Oh, you're an expert at biting, aren't you? Afterall, you've been living with vulnerable, cute little Yugi all these years...  
  
Yami-ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY SEXUALITY!?   
  
Bakura-Only the part I can't see. ^___^  
  
Yami-*lunges at Bakura but Bakura sticks a wing out and holds him back*   
  
Bakura-Neener neener neener!!! You can't reach me! *Yami nips his wing* OUCH! You nasty little son of a bitch....hey....wait...you are one!!! BAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Yami-*now in a ferocious rage, howls and knocks over Bakura*  
  
Bakura-Stop it, or I'll eat you! Bad dog! Get off! *pushes him away violently with a claw*  
  
Yami-*slides into sand, panting* Fine. We've gotta find a way off this island anyway. I've just had the fighting spirit bottled up in me ever since you told me about Tea. Stupid women.  
  
Bakura-Yeah, what a shame. But how about being human again? As much as I like these scales, gold is just _not_ my color.  
  
Yami- Well at least you aren't fluffy.  
  
Bakura-What's wrong with fluffy? Fluffy's good!  
  
Yami-*starts choking*  
  
Bakura-Hey Snoop Dawg, I don't think you're supposed to be coughing up hairballs.   
  
That's a cat thing.  
  
Yami-*spits out a small golden....millenium puzzle?* NANI!?!?   
  
Bakura-It looks like the Millenium Puzzle!  
  
Yami-Or a very weird looking galstone...  
  
Bakura-No, it's definately the puzzle. I bet it shrunk when you changed! *starts feeling around neck with wing* Mine is right here....it grew. Now if only EVERYTHING grew...*gets hentai look in his eyes*  
  
Yami-Ugh. You and your sexual inuendos.  
  
Bakura-Hey, don't knock them! When you're trapped in a ring for countless years, what   
  
else can you do but go insane, practice karate or make up dirty jokes?! Malik had already taken the insane idea, and you went all bad-ass, so I had to do choice C.  
  
Yami-I...see.  
  
Bakura-Hey, I wonder if palm trees burn better than pine trees? Let's find out...  
  
*****  
  
With- THE OUTCASTS (dun dun dun!)  
  
As everyone knows, Tristan was unfortunately sold for some extra cash in the last chapter, and Ryou was thrown overboard to avoid the boat tipping in case of a storm. Turns out there was no storm, (the "thunder" was just Joey's stomach) and now Ryou is kicking frantically in the middle of the sea, searching for dry land.  
  
Ryou-WHY ME!?!? *swallows water* All I wanted was to live life, marry a supermodel, become a millionare, invent a cure for cancer and screw Britney Spears!! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?  
  
*looks around and sees nothing but an endless stretch of sea*  
  
Can't....tread water...much longer....*starts to sink*   
  
Ryou-Oh well, Britney would never like me anyway...she's too spoiled by Justin Timberriver or Timberspring or Timberlake or whatever...*starts to drown* How sad is this...my last thoughts are of another man who's last name sounds like a nature preserve??? *drifts into unconscienous*  
  
Tristan-GOTCHA! *yanks Ryou up into the tiny dingy he is in and gives him CPR until he is revived*   
  
Ryou-*sputtering* Wha-???? Tristan! I thought we sold you!  
  
Tristan-Oh yeah....that's right! You *did* sell me! *throws Ryou back overboard*  
  
Ryou-NOO!! PULL ME BACK IN, YOU OAF! PLEASE! THE SHARK'S CAN   
  
SMELL FEAR!  
  
Tristan-*pulls him back on board* Alright, but only because I'm a nice guy. Now tell me, how did you come to be treading water this far out? Did you see a twinkie? Cuz that happened to me once and the lifeguard yelled at me. He said that a twinkie is not worth dying for. I, of course, disagree...but it's *his* life, not mine. *rolls eyes*  
  
Ryou-*sighs* No, captain moron, I didn't see a twinkie. I got thrown overboard by   
  
Crew THERE-MIGHT-BE-A-STORM-SO-LETS-THROW-THE-SMARTEST-ONE-OFF-THE-BOAT. Now excuse my bitchyness, but I am more than a little peeved right now. I saw my life flash before my eyes out there and it was dull, blank, depressing and short!  
  
Tristan-Now don't be so hard on yourself. You're not short.   
  
Ryou-*scowls* I suppose I deserved that. Now tell me, how is it that you are out here, free, in a dingy, if we sold you on the pier?  
  
Tristan- Simple. I un-sold myself.   
  
Ryou-How??  
  
Tristan- It was easy. I just sang the Spongebob Squarepants theme to my manager until she *gave* me the dingy and shoved me off the dock. Works every time.  
  
Ryou- O_o  
  
Tristan-Yeahhhh, so I've just been floating around. I saw something white in the distance, and after I realized that it was you and not a giant mass of seagull poop, I came to save you. That's how I got here.  
  
Ryou-Well Tristan, you may have the IQ of a loaf of cheese, but you're good in a jam. Thanks.  
  
Tristan- ^___^.........Hey, there are LOAVES of CHEESE!?   
  
***  
  
-With Crew THERE-MIGHT-BE-A-STORM-SO-LETS-THROW-THE-SMARTEST-ONE-OFF-THE-BOAT-  
  
Yugi-I'm so glad that there wasn't a storm. Storms are pointless. They shouldn't exist.  
  
Yami Malik-You're pointless, but you're still here, now aren't you?  
  
Yugi-Grrrrr....  
  
Joey-Hey dudes, you know what I just realized? Now that Ryou is off the boat, there is only *ONE* girl. *looks at Tea*  
  
Tea- *giggles nervously* Aww yeah, but you guys are nice. I'm sure you won't take advantage of me or anything....right?  
  
Malik & Yami Malik- *cackle in unison*   
  
Yugi-DON'T TOUCH HER, YOU HORNY EGYPTIANS!  
  
Malik-*cracks up* Yami...BAHAHHA...the little weed wacker wants to try and stop us from taking advantage of Tea!  
  
Yami Malik-Like THAT'LL ever happen...  
  
Joey- And I just realized something else...we threw the dumbest and the smartest off the boat. That leaves the middle class! Go us! Go democracy! Go food! *eats sandwich*  
  
Malik-AND we're rid of the Pharaoh. Goodbye, voice of reason!  
  
Yami Malik- *tear* My homie...  
  
Yugi-Hey Tea...*winks* If we throw Joey, Dr. Evil and Mini Me off the boat, we get...you+me=long hours of making out?  
  
Tea-Please Yugi. Who would steer the boat while we kissed?  
  
Yugi-Our love, of course! ^_^  
  
Tea-AWWW *gets big teary anime eyes* HOW KAWAII! You're the perfect man...just perfect! I could kiss you all day!   
  
Yami Malik-*swallows, hard* I'm feeling a sudden urge to DIE DIE! DIE!!! DIE!!!  
  
Malik-I'm feeling a sudden urge to join you.  
  
Suddenly, *since no one was steering* the boat runs up on dry land. Everyone falls over (Yugi "coincidentally" on top of Tea) and lays there recovering from the shock.  
  
Joey-What was that?  
  
Yami Malik-We ran land.  
  
Malik-*stands up, looks over banister to a great beach and jungle before them* It's an island! Looks deserted...  
  
Tea-I don't think there's any point to getting off here...  
  
Yugi- ^_^ I already did "get off."  
  
Tea-*whacks Yugi*   
  
After Malik stops for a pee, everyone agrees that there is no point in staying any longer. They sail off, failing to notice the remains of the Hishnish feast piled into a heap further   
  
down the beach.   
  
Will the crew and the yamis EVER be reunited? Will Ryou stay sane long enough for Tristan to paddle them to dry land? Is Bakura a pyro? Find out next time in WSOTAG.  
  
Till next time... 


End file.
